Welcome
by Looshk
Summary: Roxas has been diagnosed with an eating disorder. His parents simply cannot handle it and send him away to an institution in hopes he will get better. The place sucks, but maybe a certain red head will make the place and his life more interesting.
1. Chapter 1

"Why the fuck are you sending me here? I'm not a bad kid... I wont do it  
again I promise... Please!"  
"Its for your own good... We can't stand to see you like this any longer..."  
"Please, I'm not a bad kid... MOM! MOM COME BACK! PLEASE!"  
He ran after the car towards the gates but the car was too fast and he lost  
her.  
"Mom..."  
Someone touched his shoulder from behind him.  
"You must be Roxas then?"  
The blue eyed boy looked up to meet caring brown eyes behind glasses.  
"Uh huh..."  
"Let me help you in with your bags..."

His eyes took in the country manner, the ivy growing up the walls, the  
gravel and the courtyard.  
"Roxas come in out of the rain before you catch your death."  
Looking towards the tall gates he realised even if he ran for an hour there  
was no way he'd catch his mother now so he reluctantly followed the doctor  
in through the large wooden doors.  
After laying his suitcase down on the marble checkered floor he began to  
speak again.  
"Right, your mother has explained everything to us and due to the nature of  
your problem it would be unwise for you to be left alone, or with another  
person who has the same obsticals to overcome... So on that note I'm pairing  
you up with someone quite different from you... Would you like to see the  
place first? Or shall I bring you straight to your room?"  
The blonde shrugged.  
"My room I guess..."  
Nodding the doctor led him up some old stairs that creaked when you stood on  
them and led him down a corridor.  
/This is more like a country hotel than.../  
"Heres your room, you'll be needing this..."  
He handed Roxas his suitcase.  
"We would give you a key to lock your room, but as you know, we need to keep  
an eye on you... Understand, its not for invasive reasons I assure you."  
The blonde teen nodded dully.  
"Well lets head in and introduce you to your room mate shall we?"  
Pushing the door the doctor greeted a teenager probably not much older than  
himself who was lying across his bed.  
"Hello Axel, this is Roxas your new room mate and Roxas this is Axel."  
The young blonde boy raised a hand and waved as did the red haired teen  
sitting up on the bed.  
"Axel if you want I was hoping you could show Roxas around later on?"  
"Yeah... Sure..."  
"Thank you, I'm sure you two will be fast friends, dinner will be served at  
8 so I'll see you then."  
With another short click the room was empty.

Axel sat on the edge of his bed staring over at Roxas.  
The blonde feeling somewhat annoyed and tired just let himself fall over  
onto his bed.  
Shifting across his bed so that he was closer to Roxas Axel stared a little  
longer before beginning to talk.  
"So, if you don't mind me asking, what are you in for?"  
The blonde breathed out slowly his exhaling breath making a low whistling  
sound.  
"I'd rather not talk about it... Why don't you tell me about you and then  
when I can piece the story better together in my head I'll tell you mine..?"  
"Still bummed out about being left here huh?"  
"Not bummed out, just sad I guess... How is this supposed to help me... I  
feel more depressed here than I did at home..."  
"Depression eh?"  
"No there was a lot of stuff... You say first and then I'll tell you..."  
Axel sat back on his bed.  
"Okay then, my parents sent me here for quite a few reasons but the main one  
probably being the drugs I started doing and the second being depression...  
Now its your turn to tell me."  
Roxas rolled over onto his stomach to face Axel on the opposite bed.  
"Well my parents sent me here because they think I exercise too  
excessively... They see it as some kind of problem truth is I just like  
keeping in shape..."  
Axel raised an eyebrow.  
"Is that all?"  
Roxas nodded and then shook his head.  
"They caught me uh... In the bathroom... They freaked out..."  
The red head nodded in understanding.  
"So do you want me to show you around?"  
Roxas nodded.  
"Sure..."

They walked through random corridors full of doors to bedrooms...  
"Some of them are empty... They just have beds... Others are full... In fact I think all of them along this particular corridor is full..."  
"Uh huh..."  
Axel led him through some more corridors down some steps and then out through what was like a glass door was a swimming pool covered by something very like a greenhouse...  
"Heres the pool... People tend to be very impressed with it at the start... And then they kinda stop using it... Except a few people who come and swim everyday... I tend to use it in summer really..."  
The redhead walked around the edge taking in his reflection and the depth of the pool until he came to another door which seemed to lead out to the garden...  
Roxas watched his child like behaviour in slight amusement.  
Axel motioned to his blonde companion.  
"Well you coming or what?"  
He simply nodded and walked to the door.  
"You might want to pull up your hood, its still raining..."

"Out here is the tennis court and the basketball court..."  
The young blonde teen nodded sighing like he really didnt want to be there...  
"And over there..."  
He pointed off into the distance.  
"Theres a field over there with long grass that most of the people in here go on nice days... To smoke... To make out... It has many uses I guess..."  
He laughed to himself thinking about some times he'd spent there.  
Suddenly he turned around pointing at a window in the opposite direction.  
"See that window? Thats the games room... Well like theres a tv, a snooker table and a playstation... People usually just go there to chat... Or gamble... Hey you look kinda tired... You wanna head back?"  
Roxas feeling a little light headed from walking around so much nodded.  
This wasnt an unusual thing for him to experience, pretty normal in fact...  
He didnt care though...  
He was going to get his weight down if he was here or not...

They arrived back in their bedroom within a few minutes...  
Roxas suitcase still lay by the wardrobe...  
He looked at it frowning, the black shiny surface threatening that he might actually be staying here for a while...  
If he liked it or not.  
Sighing he kicked his now wet trainers off his feet sitting on the edge of his bed.  
The redhead sat on the other bed.  
"Its not so bad you know..."  
Roxas looked up at the cream coloured wallpaper to the blue bedsheets...  
It felt kind of like summer camp...  
For psychos...  
The blonde teen let himself fall backwards feeling the bed cushion his weight comfortably his hand reached up and he pulled a pillow over his face.  
Axel commented sarcastically.  
"Trying to smother yourself eh? You know if you dislike me that much you can ask to be moved to another room..."  
Roxas muttered something about sarcastic bastards... Or maybe puppies... Axel wasnt too sure, the guy had a pillow in his mouth.  
"You know its really not that bad... I'm sure its not looking too nice, its raining, your mom probably gave you the 'Im doing this for your own good rant' and now you've been thrown in with a random stranger... It's not easy... But it's doable..."  
The redhead stopped dead on the sound of sobs coming from under the pillow.  
"Rox-Roxas?"  
No answer, apart from muffled sobs.  
He stood up from his bed and put his hand on the pillow to take it off, his hand however was quickly thrown off by Roxas...  
So he sat down beside him instead and placed a hand on his shoulder words were not what he needed right now, so they sat, in silence.


	2. Chapter 2

His head shifted after a while and Axel felt his hand slip from the boys shoulder he dreaded telling his new room mate that dinner was soon, unsure of how he would react...  
So he chose for the moment to keep quiet feeling perhaps this is what he needed right now, but he would find out soon anyway.  
He sighed which provoked a reaction from the still sobbing Roxas.  
Slowly he pulled the pillow off his face looking up at the older teens back.  
Straightening himself up he shifted to the edge of the bed beside Axel.  
"What?"  
This roused the redhead from his thoughts.  
"Huh?"  
"The sighing... What's wrong?"  
Axel didnt want to explain and instead looked to the plain cream walls, he laid back on the bed and stared at the ceiling as he fell backwards.  
"Nothing..."  
Silence fell on the room.  
But a moment later they were called from their rooms, all at once Roxas realized why Axel seemed a little nervous all of a sudden.  
A lady in jeans and an AC-DC t shirt popped her head around their bedroom door.  
"Dinner time boys!"  
She popped out as quickly as she had popped in.  
Axel's eyes closed slowly and opened to find Roxas looking down on him anxiously.  
"What am I gonna do?"  
The older teens eyes opened slowly, he watched Roxas pace the room.  
"You're going to come down and eat what you can then we're gonna come back up here and watch tv... Or something..."  
Slowly he slid down the wall into a sitting position his hands on his knees, brow furrowed with worry.  
"But... I can't..."  
He almost squeaked.  
Axel walked over and taking the blonde boys hand pulled him to his feet.  
"You're coming with me we're eating and then we can do whatever you want."

Before he knew what was going on Axel was dragging him down the hallway towards the stairs to the dining room.  
"I-I cant..."  
Axel threw him a look which made him feel threatened and quietened him down a little bit.  
"Listen Roxas, you want to go home right?"  
He nodded in agreement.  
"To get out of here, you need to show improvement... Genuine improvement, they wont fall for that shit I can see you're thinking about trying to pull."  
The blonde teen gulped and let himself be led to the dining area.  
All around him he could see kids his own age a little older and a little younger, all different problems...  
He spotted a few with scars on their arms, one kid with freshly bandaged wrists no more than fourteen, a girl who was skinnier than him, some kids with random coloured hair, some had piercings, others had tattoos and then some who looked perfectly normal a brown haired teenager of about eighteen he assumed, a red haired girl and a pretty blonde girl dressed in white sat across from him...  
While he took the room in a plate of food was placed in front of him...

He looked upon it like it was his worst enemy.  
The smell was making him sick...  
His eyes darted around the hall to the many faces now eating and enjoying their food and to their surrroundings, curtains, chairs, a window...  
Was there any kind of escape?  
/How can I... How can they... Its disgusting.../  
Roxas felt his hands become clammy as he reached for his fork, feeling he couldnt do it, he went to stand up to leave, but Axel placed a hand quickly on his thigh keeping him sitting down.  
He jumped at the feeling of the older teens hand on his thigh.  
Axel mouthed something at him that struck fear into the pit of his stomach...  
"Force feeding"  
Roxas realizing what he said, looked to the door, the man who had brought him to his room earlier and the girl in the AC-DC t shirt were watching over the room intently, he quickly picked up his fork and stabbing a leaf of lettuce brought it to his mouth, he could feel himself shaking as he pulled it off with his teeth...  
Breathing like he was panicked he chewed quickly and swallowed feeling more and more afraid with every mouthful he ate.  
Soon he was feeling not so empty stomached, not quite full but the feeling still scared the shit out of him.  
He left the table quickly making for the door.  
/I can get this up while Axel finishes dinner... Or I can sneak out later.../  
He wasnt sure where he was going exactly and ran into several rooms that were not theirs before he found the right one...  
There on the floor was his suitcase still untouched, He didnt even switch the lights on, he went straight into the bathroom and leaning over the toilet pushed his fingers down his throat until he gagged, he did this repeatedly until the lights flicked on.  
The reflection in the mirror was a disappointed looking Axel.  
"I wasnt kidding about the force feeding thing you know... I could tell them what you were doing..."  
"No... Please..."  
"You'd be taken out of here and put under constant watch, force fed if it comes to it... Its like prison... But I'll tell if you wont do us both a favour and cut this out."  
Roxas turned his head from the toilet bowl.  
"What is your problem? What the fuck do you care? We've only just met today so dont act like you care you creep..."  
Axel rolled his eyes at the young blonde teen.  
"If I dont say anything, I'll probably get blamed for not stopping you and I also get certain rights taken from me... I'm not doing that again... Especially not for some ungrateful punk ass kid like you..."  
Roxas didnt move, in fact he looked rather shocked, even a little frightened, he was not used to being spoken to like this.  
Slowly he picked himself up off the floor and grabbing his hoody which he had thrown on the bed he made for their bedroom door.  
"Roxas! Where are you going?"

With tears in his eyes the blonde boy began running down the hallway towards the stairs, he knew his way well enough, maybe...  
Axel lost sight of Roxas as he made out through the bedroom door after him.  
"Roxas! Come back!"  
He could hear Axel's voice echo through the halls close by and kept moving.  
Its not that he disliked Axel, he disliked being caught, hated this place and just wanted to be alone...  
On finding the staircase he ran down the stairs and to the door letting himself out.

Axel ran down the stairs after him only to meet the empty entrance hall.  
/Fuck... Where did he go.../

Roxas ran as fast as he could, he knew it would be dark soon...  
But figuring he would find his way back to the lights on in the house he kept running...  
He ran until he was out of breath...  
Panting he found himself in a garden, roses in all colours were everywhere and right in the middle of the garden there was a huge fountain, stone gargoyles all around it all spitting water from their mouths, all grey all scary looking.  
The rain had cleared off, leading way to a golden sunset over the many lush meadows that surrounded this place, Roxas sat on the side of the fountain looking at the many shades of pink the sky and the clouds were turning, the place had a fresh smell after the rain...  
So there he sat listening to everything and nothing in particular...

Elsewhere Axel was running around searching for his room mate.  
He made his way out to the pool even looked in to see if he was hiding underwater. (He figured this would be something sly little Roxas would think of...)  
He checked the basketball and tennis courts (just in case shooting hoops calmed his nerves or somrthing), he even rechecked their room just to make sure he hadnt got by him and went back there...  
Beside himself with guilt he checked and rechecked all the main rooms in the house and even some of the empty bedrooms...  
/Roxas... Where the hell are you?/  
Deciding that there was no way he could be anywhere in the house he began looking outside.  
/Maybe he's in one of the fields or something.../  
He made his way across the fence and into the long grass as quietly as he could, thinking if Roxas was there he'd probably try to run again.

Roxas felt himself getting sleepy and sat down on the ground against the stone basin surrounding the gargoyles, he popped in his headphones and lazily let his eyes close.

Axel noticing that the light was fading fast jumped the fence of the meadow he had been searching...  
/Thats the last one... Unless.../  
The red head took off at speed towards the gardens...

Trying to think of the most obvious path he walked into the main area where all the smaller gardens led off from.  
/If I were trying to get away from me where would I go?/  
But before he could answer his own question he spotted a tuft of blonde hair sticking up from the far side behind the fountain basin.  
"Roxas?"  
He approached the blonde boy angrily.  
"You little brat! I spent over three hours looking for you and now you're just gonna igno... Oh..."  
There leaning against the fountain basin was Roxas, fast asleep, with his i pod blaring into his ears.  
Axel simply shook his head laughing and picking up the blonde boy in his arms began walking back to their room.

Blue eyes blinked open to see the ceiling.  
"What? Where am I!"  
Axel jumped at the boys sudden alarm.  
"Jesus! Easy Roxas... Calm down, you're in our room."  
Scratching his head he turned to Axel.  
"Uh... Dont mind me asking, how did I get back here?"  
The redhead gazed up from his magazine.  
"Oh I found you sleeping, so I carried you back..."  
Roxas felt himself blush slightly and then he questioned Axel.  
"How did you get me back here on your own...?"  
Axel stared at Roxas like he'd just been asked something stupid.  
"Uh... With these?"  
He held out his arms shaking his hands wildly in front of Roxas causing his sleeves to fall to his elbows.  
Roxas eyes shot to the scars up Axel's arms.  
"Holy shit! What the fuck?"  
Roxas grabbed Axel's arm examining it.  
The redhead tried to rip it away but Roxas had a tight grip around his wrist.  
"How the fuck... Well I should really be asking WHY the fuck these are here..."  
Axel snapped his hand back and pulled his sleeves down growling.  
"None of your fucking business..."  
The redhead picked up his magazine and trying to quickly change the subject said.  
"Oh and I carried you back here... Its not like you're fat or something stupid like that."  
At first the blonde boy was offended, then after running the comment through his head a few times realized it hadnt been sarcasm, he had genuinely been trying to make him feel better...  
And he'd gone and commented on his scars...  
/I'm an idiot.../


	3. Chapter 3

Roxas sat on the bed for a while musing over what he'd just said.  
/Stupid stupid stupid.../  
He shot another look over at Axel who looked engrossed in his magazine and still a little bit pissed...  
He pulled his knees to his chest and in an instant and hopped up from the bed and left the room.  
Axel's eyes followed him out of the bedroom door he dropped the magazine his hand rubbing his arm where Roxas had grabbed him, when his footsteps faded, Axel again pulled up his sleeve and with his index finger traced the light white scars across and down his forearm.  
/They're not that noticable... Are they?/

Roxas meanwhile walked slowly down the hallway feeling really bad.  
/He carried me back from the garden... He could've left me there but he chose to carry me back and then I went and said that like a fucking idiot.../  
He knew that there was an empty bedroom somewhere near here.  
/Maybe I'll stay in an empty room tonight... Give Axel some space... I'll bet hes mad... I would be.../  
Blue eyes scanned the corridor seeing light come from under each door...  
Except one...  
He approached cautiously looking up and down the hall making sure no one would see him go in.  
Once he was sure he entered the room and didnt bother switching on the light instead he flicked on the bathroom light and kept the door open a little so he could see who was coming...  
Slowly he edged his fingers down his throat and feeling the gag kept them there, he choked and bits of the dinner from earlier came up.  
/Thank god.../  
He kept at it for what seemed like forever, it took a while to get all of the food back up, as he hadnt done this in a while...  
Well he hadnt been trying to get a full stomach of food up for a while anyway...  
Slowly he felt himself empty up inside and when there was nothing left to vomit up, he felt lighter, even a little happier, maybe...  
He flushed the toilet, getting rid of any evidence of his crime.  
Just as he was getting ready to get up and go to bed in the empty room he heard the door squeak a little, making him jump.  
/Shit... If thats Axel he'll kill me.../

He remained completely still listening, hoping that whoever it was did not come in here...  
But his silent prayer remained unanswered as the bathroom door creaked open revealing a darkly clad, tall, skinny, blue grey haired teenager, his hair hung in his face and he was clinging to what looked like a drawing pad.  
"Hello?"  
He said slowly as he peeped around the bathroom door, his eyes caught sight of Roxas and he jumped and dropped his notepad.  
Roxas leaned down and seeing the detailed pictures in the sketchpad picked up a loose sheet of paper exclaiming.  
"Wow..."  
The other teen froze, looking at Roxas expression as he took in the picture.  
Roxas leaned down again and picked up the sketchbook, he handed it slowly back to its owner.  
"This is amazing..."  
He said still holding the loose piece of paper in his hand.  
The teen held out his hand blushing slightly.  
"Uh... Hi... I'm Zexion..."  
Roxas took his hand and shaking it said.  
"I'm Roxas... Oh sorry..."  
He handed Zexion back the piece of paper.  
"Thanks... Uh, so Roxas... What has you here... At this time of night?"  
The blondes head came back to reality.  
"Oh yeah... Um... Well I annoyed my room mate so... I was thinking of staying here for the night..."  
"I see..."  
Zexion shifted slightly holding the sketchpad to his chest.  
"Um... So who's your room mate?"  
Roxas' head rushed for an answer but not finding one he simply uttered.  
"Axel..."  
The blue grey haired teen nodded smiling politely.  
"I know him... He's really nice actually..."  
Something stirred in the pit of Roxas' stomach.  
"So what are you here for?"  
Asked Zexion still smiling.  
"Um... Well... They think I have an eating disorder..."

Nodding the teenager led him out of the bathroom and flipped on the main light in the room.  
"As you can see Roxas..."  
He motioned to the room.  
"Theres nothing here... Nowhere for you to sleep or anything..."  
The blonde haired boy shrugged.  
"Its okay, its probably just for one night..."  
"But your room has a bed, a shower and a friend. Believe me, you're gonna need the last one the most..."  
When Roxas still shook his head Zexion furrowed his eyebrows.  
"Why dont you want to go back? What did he do? Come on, lets go talk to him."  
/Oh fuck.../  
He tried to protest but Zexion had him by the arm and was INTENT on sorting this out.

Meanwhile Axel lay staring at the ceiling.  
/Wheres Roxas? He's gone a while... I hope he hasnt wandered out again.../  
Just as this thought crossed his mind the door creaked open, Axel pretended that he had been reading his magazine.  
Zexion waved in pleasantly.  
"Guess what I found wandering around one of the empty rooms?"  
Axel raised an eyebrow as Zexion pulled Roxas into the room.  
"I think you two should talk... I wasnt prying... I just dont think its cool when you guys have to stay together... To be fighting..."  
The redhead sat up against the pillows on his bed.  
"Zexion?"  
The teenager turned back around.  
"Yes?"  
"Where EXACTLY in the room did you find Roxas?"  
He shot Roxas a sideways glance.  
"Um... The bathroom I think..."  
Roxas face dropped.  
"Thanks Zexion."  
"No problem, I'm off to bed now, goodnight... Oh and thanks for your words of encouragement on my artwork Roxas..."  
With that their bedroom door clicked closed and Axel raised an eyebrow at Roxas, who was standing near the door like a child who was about to get into trouble.

"The bathroom huh? Need I even ask what you were doing in there?"  
Roxas stood still not quite sure what to say.  
"I'll take that as a no..."  
Axel assumed before picking back up the magazine he had pretended to be reading.  
"Um..."  
Roxas wanted to say something but the words just didnt seem to come.  
"Spit it out Roxas..."  
Axel said not even looking up from his magazine.  
The blonde teenager walked to Axel's bedside and kneeling down looked him straight in the eyes.  
"I'm... Sorry."  
This was not quite what Axel had expected to hear...  
Far from it in fact...  
He was expecting an argument, he argued with most of his room mates...  
But then again none of them had cried and run off on the day they arrived either...  
"For what?"  
He stopped staring Axel in the eyes realizing that he was clearly not returning his gaze.  
"For my comments on your arms earlier and for doing what I did tonight, the reason Zexion found me in the bathroom..."  
Axel's eyes remained on the magazine.  
"Ok cool."  
Roxas was a little taken aback by this and nodding moved away from Axel's bedside to his own...  
/Is he still mad...?/  
He removed his shirt and jeans without even thinking about it.  
Axel looked at him when he had turned his back to pull down his blankets...  
/He's not fat, hes paranoid... Clearly paranoid.../  
Before Roxas turned around Axel had averted his eyes back to the magazine.  
Disappointed at himself the blonde boy climbed into bed and with a last glance at Axel turned away to the wall and closed his eyes.

The redhead didnt move until he was sure Roxas was sleeping and crept over to his bed.  
He looked down on the sleeping Roxas.  
"Damn it..."  
He whispered.  
"Why do you have to be so... Cute..."  
Roxas' eyes darted open.  
/WHAT?/


	4. Chapter 4

Roxas kept his head turned away from Axel to hide the fact that his eyes were open. After hearing that it was hard to close them again… So he kept them open turned towards the wall…

/Cream coloured wallpaper… Focus on it focus on it…/

"Roxas… I wish I could tell you this to your face… I guess this is as close as I'll get… For now…"

Axel leaned down to kiss Roxas' cheek, but just as his lips were about to meet his skin, Roxas rolled over and became wide eyed as he realized that Axel's lips were now on his own.

Axel realized instantly, but hesitated for a moment trying to figure out should he continue or back off. His question was answered for him by Roxas lightly placing his hands on Axel's shoulders…  
/Is he pulling me towards him?/  
Roxas pushed Axel as hard as he could away from him.  
The blonde teen looked utterly shocked as did Axel… The only difference being Axel was pleased with what had just happened… Roxas felt like his lips had just been raped.  
They stared at each other from across the room, Roxas looking like a homicidal maniac and Axel like a rabbit in headlights.  
Nothing needed to be said and Roxas DID NOT feel like talking. Roxas quite simply got out of his bed grabbed his hoody and walked out of the room leaving Axel sitting on his bed bewildered.

Roxas shoved his hands in his pockets to stop them from shaking, the corridors were becoming more familiar…  
Despite the fact he had only been here one day…  
One huge long day…  
/What the fuck just happened? What the fuck would've happened had I not opened my eyes when I did…?/  
He made his way down the staircase into the main hall, he was in his boxer shorts and a hoody… But he couldn't be in that room right now…  
The main door could be heard creaking open and Roxas stepped out onto the steps that led to the front door…  
The rain had stopped but the stairs were still wet, it was now he realized that in his shock he hadn't even put shoes on…  
He reached around his hoody pocket, trying to locate his cigarettes and lighter, pulling a cigarette from the packet he placed it in-between his lips, his held up his lighter and lighting his cigarette sighed out…  
A mix of cigarette smoke and his warm breath on the cold air filled the space around him…  
/What am I gonna do…?/

Axel was still sitting right where Roxas had pushed him.  
He was too dumbstruck to do anything but think…  
/Roxas is gone, he knows you like him, you kissed him… You're a complete twat Axel…/  
Lying back on his bed he heard the door creak open his eyes shot to where the door was…  
"Rox… Oh… Its you…"  
Zexion looked slightly offended…  
"Well thank you for belittling my presence here you massive prick!"  
He made to walk out of the room when Axel called out to him.  
"What's up anyway? Like why are you here? I figured you'd be asleep…"  
The blue grey haired teenager walked in and sitting on the bed where Roxas had been began to speak.  
"Well I heard the door slam, which made me jump… Then when I looked out I saw Roxas storming off down the hall… He looked kinda frustrated and angry so I didn't want to stop him… I just came to see if you were ok I guess… But if you don't want me here I can go back to bed, or take my kindness elsewhere…"  
Axel shook his head.  
"I'm sorry… Its just I'm a little on edge right now, I did something really fucking stupid…"  
Zexion nodded.  
"I see… Well would you like to talk about it?"  
The redhead raised an eyebrow.  
"Uh… Maybe? But before that I need to ask you a question…"  
Zexion nodded smiling.  
"Sure… What is it Axel?"  
"Not to be rude or anything, but uh… Whats with the friendly 'let me help' attitude…? Its kind of freaky…"  
The grey blue haired teen cocked his head to the side.  
"I guess I've been having a few 'up' days lately… But anyway back to you… What exactly happened?"  
"I kissed Roxas…"  
The other teenager grinned pervertedly.  
"Well that's good news then?"  
"No… Not really…"  
"No?"  
He moved over to sit on the bed beside Axel.  
"Well what happened?"  
"Uh… He was sleeping…"  
"Kinky Axel! Holy shit! No wonder he's pissed!"  
"NO! For fuck sake! I was looking at him sleep and was kinda thinking out loud..."  
"Well what were you saying?"  
"Something about him being cute… Turns out he wasn't asleep…"  
"He must be pretty homophobic to freak out that… Or did something else happen?"  
Axel shifted uncomfortably.  
"I… Kissed him, it was supposed to be on the cheek… But he turned his head and I caught him…"  
"Straight on the lips?"  
Axel nodded sadly.  
"Yup… Then he grabbed my shoulders and I thought he was into it… But he pushed me away and I've been in the same spot for a while now…"  
Zexion moved towards him and laying Axel's head on his chest hugged him.

Roxas was now freezing and wet sitting on the steps…  
/Maybe I should make my way back…/  
There was a pile of maybe fifteen cigarette butts beside him.  
/I wonder if someone will get me more cigarettes if I ask?/  
Slowly he stood up from the steps dripping wet, it had been raining again and Roxas wasn't feeling too well…  
He stepped into the hall feeling somewhat dizzy and ice cold but burning at the same time…

"We should go and find him… Maybe if you explain yourself he'll get over it…"  
Zexion was dragging Axel's arm.  
"NO! If I go looking for him he'll be mad… If I leave him alone he can get over it and then see me when he wants!"  
Axel was gripping the door handle.  
Roxas emerged from around the corner which made both teenagers stop fighting.  
Zexion waved and ran up to him.  
"Wow… Roxas you don't look so good…"  
His face was flushed but he was shivering.  
Axel moved forward holding his hand out to feel Roxas forehead.  
The blonde boy began to sway slightly.  
"Axel… I feel…"  
Before he could finish his sentence he fell unconscious Axel moved forward quick and caught him…  
Zexion looked a little worried.  
"What's wrong with him? Will I call the doc?"  
Axel felt his forehead.  
"I think he's passed out from fever… Yeah go get the doc… I'll stay here…"  
/Roxas…/


	5. Chapter 5

/Roxas… What the hell? If anything happens to you I'll blame myself for freaking you out…/  
Axel felt himself panicking like a kid, he didn't know what to do, he felt like breaking down and crying.  
Before he could fully comprehend what was going on Roxas was lifted away from him and put on a stretcher…  
One of the nurses looked to Zexion and Axel.  
"Do you know what happened to him?"  
Zexion answered before Axel could start freaking out.  
"We were going to find him and when he came around the corner he passed out…"  
"Thank you very much..."  
The redhead blurted out.  
"Will he be okay?"  
"I'm sure it's just a fever… He should be fine…"  
"Can I come down with you?"  
The nurse shook her head.  
"You can come and see him in the morning… For now try and get some sleep…"  
She walked away, her white uniform standing out in the darkened hall as she walked away…  
Axel didn't say anything just gritted his teeth together under his lips and walked away.  
"Hey Axel hold on!"  
The blue grey haired teen stood in front of him hands on his shoulders.  
"Do you want me to stay with you for the night? I'm on my own at the minute anyway… Kinda looks like you could use some company…"  
The redhead just shook his head and walked into his room the door slammed leaving Zexion alone outside in the corridor.

Axel went straight into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet…  
/Nothing… Fuck…/  
He looked around for something… Anything…  
To give him some pain, and therefore some relief…  
Desperate he spotted Roxas suitcase on the floor.  
/Maybe… I know I shouldn't… But…/  
He unzipped the suitcase slowly and flipping back the top saw a picture, Roxas and two people…  
/They must be his parents…/  
He zipped up the suitcase and when he stood up something on the wooden floor caught his eye.  
A silver lighter lay there…  
"Hmmm…"

Zexion lay on his bed in the room next door his thoughts were with Axel…  
He could hear light gasps from the next room.  
/He's probably crying… But he told me to leave him alone…/  
He rolled over trying to ignore the noise…

Elsewhere Roxas awoke, the room he was in was white…  
He sat up wondering why he was here.  
A nurse approached his bed.  
"Hello Roxas."  
The blonde boy shook his head slightly.  
"Hi… Uh where am I?"  
"Oh you're in the hospital unit of this place, you passed out. Gave your friends quite a scare… But you'll be fine, you just got a fever from spending time outside while it was raining… In your underwear… I won't ask WHY you were outside in the rain with only your knickers on you crazy kids have such energy! But that will stand to you, we're just gonna keep you here for the night to keep an eye on you and you can head back to your room in the morning… Ok?"  
Roxas nodded, happy that he wouldn't have to spend tonight with Axel, who would probably be trying to molest him while he was sleeping.

Axel lay back on his bed with a cigarette in his mouth…  
He took a large drag sighing out blissfully…  
His hand travelled to his arm where he put the red hot ash on the tip of the cigarette against his skin causing him to gasp slightly.  
A tear ran down his cheek as the cigarette extinguished itself on his skin…  
"Ah… Ahhh…"  
He wondered how many times he'd done this tonight…  
It was losing its effect quite quickly and the next few minutes found Axel looking for something to cut with…  
/Ugh… I just need something… Anything…/  
After tearing the place apart he went to the plastic hangers in the closet and snapping one of them into a sharp edge he went into the bathroom.  
Rolling his sleeve back up he held his arm over the bath and taking the hanger dug the pointed part into his skin and dragged it back and forth again and again until he bled…  
His breath left his body in gasps, the blood trickled from the wound down onto the white porcelain…  
He was bleeding but he continued…  
Again and again he dug it into his arm and dragged it...  
Then the other arm…  
Until he was covered in red scratches and cuts…  
When he was satisfied with what he'd done, he let the water run to wash away the blood…  
Once he had done this and all evidence was gone without a trace, he hid the hanger in a hole he made in his mattress and was careful to cover his arms, he climbed into bed, wondering if Roxas was okay…

This is where Roxas found him the next day when he returned.  
It was early and Axel was still in bed…  
Axel shifted in his sleep, his black long sleeved t shirt revealing something on his arm that Roxas was pretty sure looked fresh.  
Closing the door Roxas approached Axel slowly shifting his sleeve up his arm and gasping dropped Axel's arm…  
Causing the redhead to jump and awaken self conscious about what he had done he pulled his sleeves down…  
Sitting up in bed he looked at Roxas sadly.  
"I'm really sorry about yesterday… I was out of line and I understand if you want to switch rooms… Zexion has a free room if you want to stay there…"  
Roxas dropped his hoody on the floor and wrapped his arms around Axel's neck…  
Axel slowly wrapped his arms around Roxas and whispered.  
"I was worried about you…"  
Roxas pulled back a little.  
"I know… I'm sorry…"  
Blue eyes met green.  
Neither seemed to move…  
Roxas began moving slowly towards Axel, closing his eyes…  
Axel let his eyes fall closed they were mere centimetres away from each others lips.  
Roxas could feel Axel's breath on his lips…  
Suddenly the door flew open.  
"MORNING! Oh… Uh… Am I interrupting something…?"  
Roxas was practically straddling Axel and fell off him onto the wooden floor between their beds blushing profusely.  
"Zexion feels awkward…"  
The teen backed out of the room and closed the door giving Axel a thumbs up.  
Axel leaned over the side of his bed looking down at Roxas.  
"You ok?"  
The blonde teen was still blushing.  
"Um… Yeah… Uh… I'm gonna go take a shower…"  
Axel watched Roxas disappear into the bathroom and made a mental note to kill Zexion later on…  
Who conveniently entered the room at that moment.  
"Oh… So you're back?"  
Zexion nodded laughing nervously.  
"Eh heh yeah… I dropped my sketchpad…"  
Axel narrowed his eyes.  
"Come here Zexy… Theres something we need to talk about…"  
The blue grey haired teen went to run for it…  
But Axel dived on him.  
"I am gonna KILL you!"  
"You can't kill me… Uh… I have… Cookies!"  
Axel had Zexion on the floor on his back his hands against his shoulders.  
"Oh really?"  
Zexion pulled Oreo cookies from his pocket.  
"See? You can have them if you let me live!"  
Axel nodded still straddling Zexion.  
Roxas emerged from the bathroom in a towel hair dripping wet and saw the two of them on the floor.  
"Uh… Okay… If you're gonna bring your boyfriend back here Axel give me a heads up ok?"  
With that the blonde boy walked back into the bathroom leaving Axel looking very disappointed.  
The redhead switched his sights back to Zexion who was on his feet and edging towards the door…  
"Zexion?"  
"Yes Axel?"  
"I've changed my mind…"  
"On what exactly?"  
"Killing you…"  
Zexion ran out the door shouting for help and Axel ran out after him…  
Leaving a very troubled Roxas in the bathroom wondering about Axel's arms…  
/Why did he do that…? Better still… Why did I react to them being on the floor like that…?/  
He sat against the door of the bathroom mentally congratulating himself on the fact that he'd missed breakfast.  
But when he thought about what he'd just seen it made his victory over the system of this place seem hollow…  
He stood in front of the mirror examining his appearance, poking and prodding at his figure…  
/If I lost two more stone I'd be my perfect weight…/

Meanwhile Axel had Zexion trapped in the garden...  
"Don't suppose more cookies will make this better?"  
"Not this time Zexion…"  
He said giggling as he tied Zexion's hands to the trunk of a tree.  
"Not this time…"


	6. Chapter 6

Roxas stood in the bathroom gazing at his reflection…  
"Ugh… I'm so… Disgusting…"  
Roxas heard the bedroom door click open.  
"Hello? Anyone home?"  
Roxas recognised the voice to be Axel's and decided to stay quiet…  
He needed to be alone right now, so he remained silent sitting on the edge of the bath…  
Axel walked to the bathroom door and put his hands against it.  
"Okay Roxas… You don't want to talk to me right now I get it… But I know you're in there and since Zexion's tied to a tree I have no one to hang out with… Plus like it's only your second day here... And well I want to set things right…"  
Silence came from the bathroom and Axel turned away feeling rather disappointed, but just as he was about to leave the room, he heard a click indicating that the bathroom door had been opened.  
Axel turned around Roxas was still in the towel…  
"Ok… Maybe you should get changed first and then we can talk… Uh… Will I meet you at the fountain you fell asleep on or do you want to stay here?"  
"Either or I guess…"  
"Okay, will we say the fountain then? There's no one there and Zexion's tied up so he won't be able to interrupt us…"  
Roxas nodded.  
"Okay… I'll meet you by the steps out front in ten minutes…"  
"Cool..."  
Axel left the room but quickly turned back and opened the door again which made Roxas alarmed and pull his towel back up to block himself.  
The redhead giggled slightly at this and then remembered what he was going to say.  
"Oh yeah, wrap up warm, its sunny but its kind of cold… We can't have you passing out again… You gave us both a scare…"  
The door clicked closed and Roxas smiled to himself at Axel's concern.  
/Why are you smiling? Earlier you were pissed because he was on top of Zexion…/  
His smile faded into a frown.  
/True…/

Axel was waiting at the end of the steps having a cigarette when Roxas spotted him…  
He turned around on hearing his footsteps, threw the end of his cigarette on the ground and stood up.  
"Hey!"  
"Hey…"  
"Shall we?"  
Roxas nodded a little.  
The walk was awkward and silent Roxas concentrated on the sound of his feet crunching the gravel…  
/I wonder why he wants this to be private, I know how he feels about me already…/  
But still he walked noticing Axel gazing at him every now and then…

Zexion had freed one of his hands from the rope.  
"HA!"  
He shouted.  
/I'll get you back Axel, oh yes… I will…/

Finally they reached the fountain…  
Roxas took a seat on the edge of it just like he had before and Axel sat beside him…

"You're probably wondering about, well everything…"  
"Uh huh…"  
Axel scratched the back of his head as if trying to gather his thoughts.  
"Listen Axel, just say whatever you're thinking… I'm not gonna be offended or shocked or weirded out so just say it…"  
Axel nodded.  
"Ok… Well, uh… Firstly, I-I like you, obviously… S-Secondly I didn't know how to say it to you… Hence the creepy while y-you were sleeping incident… Third I'm not into Zexion… At all… We're just good friends… Um… L-Lastly... I want you… I want you… to…"  
"To what?"  
"To stop the fucking puking… You're not fat… You're tiny… In fact you're not tiny… You're perfect…"  
/Perfect… He said I was perfect…/  
Roxas temporarily lost his breath in shock.  
/He just said I was perfect…/  
"Is there anything you want to say…?"  
There were a million things on Roxas brain to say at that very moment…  
He wanted to say 'WELL THEN HOW ABOUT YOU STOP CUTTING AND BURNING YOUR ARMS?' but he wasn't able to form the words…  
He shook his head…  
"Are you sure…? Nothing? At all?"  
"Yeah, I'm good…"  
With that Roxas got up and began to walk away, angry at himself for not being able to say what he had really wanted to say…  
/Like hell I'll stop… I'll stop when he stops…/  
"Roxas?"  
The teen turned back.  
"Yeah? Wait up, I'll walk back with you… I have to free Zexion anyways…"  
They strolled along still not talking…  
When Roxas stopped suddenly.  
"Axel… It's just not that easy… Ok? I'd like to just press a button and start eating again and stop making myself sick… But it's harder than that… Try to understand it's difficult to change how I feel about myself…"  
He nodded understanding what Roxas was saying.  
"I get that… But you should try and make small changes… Maybe eat a little… I dunno… Just try…"  
"I am trying… But as I said it's hard…"  
"I don't want them to wind up force feeding you…"  
"But… But…"  
/Just try…/  
"It can't be that hard to eat you did it once you can do it again… Right?"  
Roxas clenched his fists.  
"WRONG! You might think its nothing at all, but it IS ok? It's a big deal… I hate myself I can't look at myself without wanting to puke out every morsel of food I've ever fucking swallowed… They don't even have scales here so I can see my weight… It's fucking hard being here and you're not making it any fucking easier! I don't know why they put me with an inconsiderate douche bag like you! You have no idea what's wrong with me you've never experienced it! Hey Axel here lets make a deal!"  
There were tears streaming down his face now.  
"I'll start eating and stop vomiting when YOU stop CUTTING YOURSELF!"  
Axel was taken aback by this…  
/He saw my arms?/  
Roxas ran away from him in tears.  
/What did I do… Shit…/

Zexion was free and walking down a corridor, when a teary eyed Roxas ran straight into him…  
"Jesus Roxas! What's wrong?"  
The blonde teenager got up but Zexion wouldn't let him run off.  
"Come here… Tell me what's up?"  
"Axel's a total tool is what's up…"  
Roxas freed himself from Zexion's hands and returned to their bedroom.  
/Why the fuck do I always return here? It's where he can find me… And he always does… I just feel so fucking trapped… I want… I want to go home…/

He sat there for ages on the floor just crying…  
/I need comfort… I need something to make me feel better…/  
Roxas crawled to the bathroom and tied the door closed with a towel.  
/At least I can have time alone…/

"Zexion have you seen Roxas?"  
The darkly clad teen kept walking.  
"Zexion!"  
"Fuck off…"  
"What? What's wrong?"  
"Tying people to trees is not polite… In fact it's humiliating… You can go fuck yourself…"  
His voice kept a steady pace as did his feet.  
"Zexion… It was a joke…"  
/This should keep Axel busy for a while… I can't believe he upset Roxas that much…/

After about two hours of apologising about tying Zexion to a tree Axel was going off to find Roxas again…

He got to their room and instantly realising that he was in the bathroom he said nothing…  
Axel sat on the bed and waited until Roxas was ready to come out…

Roxas sat alone in the bathroom filling the silence with his thoughts and his tears…  
/He just doesn't understand… I wouldn't belittle his illness like that… I know it's serious even if I think it's a stupid thing to do… Why is he so cruel…/

/I know what I said to Roxas was wrong, when he comes out I want to apologise to him… Really I want to fuck his brains out… Is that the only reason I care? No… No… Let's hope not… Ok then there's no fucking until… Later on when you guys are actually going out… If you get to that… He probably hates you now…/

Roxas slowly stood up and untying the towel from the door handle stepped out from the bathroom.  
Axel didn't say a word, he just lay there staring at the ceiling…  
Roxas lay on his bed across from Axel and lay in the same position.  
"I've made a royal bollix out of all this haven't I? I let you know I liked you, insulted you, tried to make it better and made it worse… Roxas all I can say is I'm truly sorry… I'm scared to talk now in case I make it even worse... I had no right to say that and yes… I cut the other night for the first time in ages… I'm not sure how you saw it, but if anything had of happened to you... I would've blamed myself for freaking you out… I don't know why… But I care about what happens to you… I'd like you to stay here and be my room mate and not be dragged off and subjected to force feeding… I've experienced it first hand and it's extremely painful and very humiliating… I guess that's all I want to say…"  
Roxas continued to stare at the ceiling.  
"I… I'm still upset, about being here… I'm homesick… I feel horrible outside and in… One minute you're making everything okay… The next you're hurting me… I want to be okay… But I hate how I look, it's also the only thing I have control over in my life… My parents are overprotective freaks… I was having trouble at school… Being called a faggot and I've been beaten up once or twice… I was caught making myself sick in school… My mom packed my stuff and sent me straight here… I couldn't believe that bitch was doing this to me… But she did… I'm paranoid about people, if I can't trust my parents who can I trust? They didn't understand it either… It hasn't been going on a very long time either… Only a few months, I've noticed a change, but nothing major… I'm sorry about commenting on your cutting… You need to get over your illness just as I need to deal with mine… I saw them cause your sleeve rolled up a little while you were sleeping I rolled it up a bit more to make sure you hadn't been cutting more… But you had… It upset me… But I was afraid to say anything that's why it came out in the way it did… I'm sorry…"  
Axel moved over to Roxas bed and lay beside him his hand looped around Roxas and he pulled Roxas to him.  
Their lips met slowly Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel's neck…  
His lips parted to let Axel in, slowly their tongues mingled as they became familiar with each others touch…  
They were as close as they could be, their knees were interlocked and their chests were almost touching as they kissed…  
Roxas mind was blank…  
His mind was on the kiss and who he was kissing…  
Axel's mouth parted from Roxas and he slowly worked kisses down to his neck, he got as far as his chest and while he was undoing buttons on his shirt realised and didn't go down any further… He'd remembered the promise he'd made himself earlier…  
/No sex until you're together… If you get together…/  
Instead he went back to his lips and continued kissing him…  
Then realising he was getting urges that went against what he had promised he stopped and finished by kissing Roxas on the forehead.  
Roxas smiled up at him and cuddled into Axel's chest.  
Axel looked down at him with affection in his eyes.  
"I never want to be the reason you're upset again, I want to see you smile all the time and when you can't smile, I want you to tell me… I can't promise anything… Only that I'll try my best… If you will too…"  
He looked down to see Roxas response…  
But he was breathing slowly, comfortably…  
Sleeping…  
"It's been a long night and we didn't get much sleep…"  
He pushed blonde strands of hair away from Roxas' face before lying beside him and closing his eyes.


	7. Chapter 7

Roxas awoke late the next day, still in the arms of the sleeping redhead, he recalled the events of the night before with a smile.  
/But what now… I mean… What happens now…?/  
The younger of the two lay on his back staring at the ceiling…  
He did this for perhaps an hour until Axel began to wake up.  
"Mmm… Meh…"  
Axel pulled his arm out from under Roxas.  
"Mmm… Morning Roxas… Ugh… What time is it?"  
The blonde boy stared at the clock on the bedside table…  
"Like 1.30pm…"  
Axel let out a loud groan.  
"We missed breakfast… Shit…"  
"Uh… Yeah, by like a few hours…"  
The redhead grinned.  
"Yeah… That may be ok for you Roxas but it certainly is not ok by me… I'm going to raid the kitchen and you're coming with me!"  
Roxas looked scandalized.  
"But… I haven't showered! I slept in these clothes and look at the state of my hair!"  
The redheaded teen put his hands on Roxas shoulders turning him around so that they were staring into each others eyes.  
"And yet… If you said 'Axel I'm so horny do me sideways' I wouldn't object…"  
He let go of Roxas shoulders and walked out of the door leaving Roxas standing in the bedroom wide eyed.  
/Wha? Holy… He thinks I'm…/  
"Axel wait up!"  
Roxas ran down the hall after Axel who smiled to himself as the blonde boy caught up with him panting.  
"Wait on me!"  
"So you're coming then?"  
He smiled nodding enthusiastically.  
"There's one rule though…"  
Roxas cocked his head to one side pondering what that could be.  
"You have to eat at least one thing…"  
Roxas felt his stomach lurch.  
"Uh… What?"  
"You made a commitment… I'm making you keep it… Oh and no throwing up afterwards…"  
The blonde boy stopped dead in his tracks.  
"But… But…"  
"No buts Roxas… Plus…"  
He checked the hall to see if anyone was coming before pushing Roxas against the wall, he slowly ran his hand up Roxas thigh…  
Lowering his mouth to Roxas ear he whispered.  
"I'll make it worth your while…"  
Axel stopped and continued walking like nothing had happened, Roxas was still at the wall heart pounding against his ribcage in shock…  
And although he was not going to admit it…  
Excitement.

They reached the kitchen a short while later, Roxas walking slightly behind trying to gather himself after their little 'rendezvous' in the corridor…  
Axel spun around to face Roxas.  
"Observe… The kitchen!"  
He swung a door open revealing a large stainless steel kitchen.  
Axel walked straight in and approached the fridge.  
"Here,"  
He said with great respect in his voice.  
"Is the best thing about this place… Tada!"  
Axel pulled the fridge door open revealing all sorts of things…  
The best part of the whole lot being the little compartment in the bottom of the fridge, which contained nothing but…  
"CANDY!"  
Roxas exclaimed.  
The redhead raised an eyebrow.  
"You like candy do you? You're such a kid…"  
He laughed holding Roxas back from the fridge, the blonde boy looked up indignantly like he was being told to go to the gallows.  
"Ok ok… Jesus Roxas, don't bite my hand off… There have your precious candy…"  
Axel smiled to himself as Roxas slowly peeled the wrapper off a chocolate bar looking thoroughly guilty, he hesitated.  
"I… I… Can't…"  
The redhead smiled at Roxas…  
"Sure you can! What's one little chocolate bar gonna do?"  
The blonde boy dropped the bar which Axel caught took a bite of and forced his lips onto Roxas.  
/This'll make him eat it…/  
Slowly the chocolate melted between their lips and tongues forcing Roxas to swallow the melted mess.  
Axel pulled away and pointing to his lips grinned.  
"Hey… You missed some."  
Roxas pouted.  
"You tricked me…"  
"And you loved it…"  
The blonde opened his mouth as if he was going to speak and closed it again blushing.  
"AHA! You did like it!"  
"S-so what!"  
He said still blushing.  
"I think you're incredibly cute when you pout like that is all…"  
Both fell silent, Axel now blushing as much as Roxas…  
Zexion broke their silence with a rather amused look on his face.  
"So you're up eh? I missed you guys at breakfast…"  
Then he faked a gasp.  
"Or were you not there at all? Naughty naughty… And uh… Why are you both so red? Hope I'm not interrupting anything…"  
Zexion giggled to himself shook his head and left both boys sitting on the floor of the kitchen.  
Axel grinned over at Roxas who smiled back.  
Zexion popped his head around the door again.  
"Oh and just in case you want to hang out today… I'll be around the basketball courts… Probably… See you guys later…"  
With that the door clicked closed leaving both boys laughing on the floor.  
"So I've missed a spot have I?"  
Axel gasped as Roxas jumped on top of him licking his lips and kissing him.  
/Stay calm Axel… No getting excited… Cute blonde on top of me… Think of… Uh… Nuns… Church… Think of… Fat old men… Priests… Paedophiles ANYTHING!/  
But Roxas was relentless licking his lips, his neck and working his way down to Axel's chest…  
"Roxas… Please stop…"  
The blonde boy seemed to take this as a challenge and smiling began biting his neck softly.  
"We're gonna… Get… Caught… I'm gonna… Gonna… Get… You… You'll get…"  
"Get what Axel?"  
The redhead was slowly losing his restraint and was running his hands down Roxas back sighing one minute and trying to discourage his actions the next.  
Roxas hands were running down from Axel's shoulders.  
/Axel… Seriously get a grip… He's serious…/  
Across his chest.  
/Are you really gonna let your first time together be on this kitchen floor? It could be so much more… Romantic…/  
Down his stomach.  
/Come on he's probably his first time!/  
His hands were now on the waistband of his jeans.  
/WHAT ABOUT THAT PROMISE AXEL!/  
His hands reached out and grabbed Roxas' hands.  
"Maybe we should get some stuff from here and hide it in our room? Then we can go meet Zexion or go swimming or something?"  
Roxas looked a little confused but nodded anyway.  
"Um… Sure ok."  
They grabbed some random bits of fruit and sandwiches and pretty much anything Axel laid his eyes on, Roxas on the other hand made sure to grab tonnes of candy before walking out of the kitchen and back up towards their bedroom.  
Axel saw Roxas taking a bite of another chocolate bar as they walked towards their room he still had a slightly guilty look on his face, but Axel was happy to see him eating.

When they reached their room Axel made an excuse and went straight into the shower still slightly red faced…  
Roxas wondered if he'd done something wrong…  
/Perhaps I was too forward?/  
He approached the bathroom door and as the shower wasn't running he assumed it was ok to head in but as his hand reached for the door handle he heard heavy breathing…  
Curiosity overcame Roxas as he lowered his eye to the keyhole and looking through saw something he didn't quite expect…  
There on the floor against the bath was Axel jeans and boxer shorts pulled down to his knees eyes closed…  
His breath was becoming quicker as he pumped himself harder and harder…  
He let out a stifled moan which sounded suspiciously like 'Roxas' and Roxas watched mouth agape as Axel orgasmed gritting his teeth and came all over his own hand, he sat for a few minutes just panting enjoying the after feeling of the orgasm he'd just had.  
Axel then proceeded to remove his clothes, Roxas knew he shouldn't be watching…  
But somehow he couldn't pull his eyes away from Axel's increasingly naked form he felt his hand reach down his own body towards his own increasing hard on…  
/Roxas… No. You cannot spy and masturbate to your room mate showering… That is so wrong… Oh and yeah… You're not gay./  
The blonde boy shook his head as if to shake the thoughts away…  
With one eye closed he gazed longingly through the keyhole to Axel's now wet and completely naked form.  
/Oh fuck…/  
His hand reached down, he gulped and took his now very hard length into his hand slowly moving his hand back and forth so as not to make too much noise…  
So intense was his enjoyment of his self pleasure that he didn't notice Axel leave the shower and fell forward onto his back as the door opened…  
He lay on his back looking shocked, his hand still on his cock Axel who had a very big grin on his face was looking down at him.  
"Need a hand?"  
Roxas made to get up and run for it but Axel grabbed him by the back of his t shirt and sitting him down on the lid of the toilet lost control and began pleasuring Roxas with his mouth.  
"A-Axel… Please… Don't stop…"  
His hands tangled in Axel's hair pushing himself further into Axel's mouth.  
The redhead now feeling completely aroused again wrapped his arms around the blonde boy's waist and pulled his full length into his mouth.  
"A-Axel… I'm gonna… I'm gonna…"  
Axel knowing exactly what Roxas was going to say moved his mouth faster up and down Roxas length…  
Roxas involuntarily dug his nails into Axel's shoulders as he orgasmed his head was thrown back and Axel could feel his whole body tremble as he came…  
The redhead much to the surprise of Roxas swallowed it and kept moving trying to get even more out of him…  
The pleasure was now becoming so intense that he needed Axel to stop…  
Axel ran his lips slowly up Roxas before he released him from his mouth.  
He kissed Roxas forehead and walked out of the bathroom saying.  
"I told you I'd make it worth your while if you ate…"  
At that moment Roxas promised himself he would definitely try harder to not make himself sick if that's what Axel was willing to do to him for every time he succeeded in keeping food down.  
Axel smiled as Roxas re emerged from the bathroom looking like he'd just had a really good time being mauled by something… (Or someone)  
"So what were you doing at the bathroom door anyway Roxas?"  
Roxas face took on a very red colour.  
"Uh… Um… Ok… Ok… I was…"  
Axel looked amused as Roxas turned tomato red.  
"spying…"  
He said in a very small voice.  
Axel made motions like he was cleaning his ears out.  
"Sorry what? I didn't hear you…"  
"I was spying on you… I wanted to ask you something which I've now completely forgotten, you were there… Hold on a second… What the hell were you doing?"  
Roxas grinned widely as he remembered what he'd seen Axel do.  
"Eh… Showering?"  
"Before the shower… Sitting beside the bathtub…"  
Axel folded his arms not making eye contact.  
"Same thing you were doing, except I was obviously a little more discreet about it…"  
"I heard you sigh my name Axey!"  
Axel blushed as he realized how much Roxas had seen…  
"Shut up… Just cause I made you cum doesn't mean shit… I want you to stop puking… If doing that to you helps then good…"  
Axel folded his arms and sat on the edge of the bed still looking thoroughly embarrassed.  
"Just one question…"  
Roxas said quietly seeing that Axel was getting annoyed.  
"What?"  
"Um… Well why didn't you let me… In the kitchen…?"  
"I have my reasons, let's just leave it at that…"  
"No, I want to know… If it's just helping me to get better to you, or if… If…"  
The blonde teen couldn't quite get the sentence out of his mouth his eyes seemed a little misted over as he directed his gaze towards the window.  
Axel approached Roxas and wrapping his arms around him whispered.  
"Of course I care…"  
The younger teen gasped for breath trying his hardest not to cry.  
"Then… Why did you reject me?"  
Axel closed his eyes as if trying to gather his thoughts.  
"Well, I made a promise… To myself."  
Roxas turned around now to face Axel.  
"What do you mean?"  
Axel avoided his gaze.  
"Well… It's just, I don't want to just have sex…"  
The blonde boy cocked his head slightly.  
"What made you think it would've led to sex?"  
The redhead pursed his lips.  
"I get um… Into things real quick… I guess I get excited easily… I didn't want to eh… Force anything to happen… That's kinda what happened in the bathroom I didn't even ask if you were ok with it… I just kinda went for it didn't I?"  
Roxas cut across him quickly.  
"Not that I would've said no…"  
"I just… Don't want you to do anything you might regret…"  
Roxas couldn't help but smile at Axel.  
/I guess he does care…/  
"I can get a little crazy in the heat of the moment… You know?"  
The blonde teen nodded.  
"I think we can all get a little crazy sometimes…"  
Roxas looked at the marks on Axel's still bare shoulders.  
"How'd that happen…? You better not have been…"  
Axel laughed.  
"I didn't do it…"  
"Then who did?"  
Roxas was getting quite angry now thinking Axel was at it again.  
"Eh Roxas you did…"  
"What?"  
The blonde teens eyes opened wide.  
"Yup… When you were sitting there in the midst of orgasm you dug your nails right into my shoulders…"  
Axel grinned darkly.  
"Didn't put me off in the slightest… In fact, it was pretty kinky…"  
The redhead ran his fingers over the small cuts pressing down on them feeling renewed pain Roxas saw a look of slight pleasure cross his face.  
Looking rather angry Roxas passed a remark.  
"You'll just have to tie my hands up next time wont you?"  
Axel stopped talking and watched Roxas leave the room grinning victoriously, he couldn't think of anything now but Roxas with his hands tied up behind his back writhing in ecstasy as Axel did whatever he wanted to him…  
He leaned out of their bedroom door calling after Roxas.  
"Okay Roxas you win…"  
The blonde boy turned and waved and smiled back in acknowledgement as he made his way down the corridor towards the front door, after all that had just happened, he definitely needed a cigarette.


	8. Chapter 8

Roxas sat on the stairs cigarette in hand smiling, but half wondering about what the hell was going on, previous events, the past few days…  
It brought a laugh to his lips to think how sad he had been to come here…  
A laugh that was quickly extinguished by a single thought of a stern man, a few thoughts of school…  
/"Faggot… So Roxas, how many guys have you fucked?" "How are you even my son? You can't even stand up to a high school bully… What are you? Some kind of faggot?"/  
He threw his cigarette down the steps and sighing out the last of the smoke watched it float in a puddle.  
/I'm not a faggot… I don't like guys… Ok well I don't like ONLY guys… Girls are hot, I like tits, hips… I like… Pussy…/  
He wretched slightly at the thought of that…  
Axel came down the steps, all fresh and clean, his usually spiked hair quite long and messy around his face, he put an arm around Roxas, but he moved away.  
"Roxas! Hey it's just me…"  
He took one look at the boys face and raised an eyebrow enquiringly.  
"What's wrong?"  
The younger teen leaned forward forcing a long breath out of his lungs.  
"I just need to shower… I feel all… Dirty…"  
With that he stood up and made his way back into the place leaving Axel sitting on the stairs alone.  
/Dirty? Was that some kind of stab at what I did…? Maybe I should've stopped…/

Roxas felt tears burn his eyes, but made sure he was in his room with the door firmly shut before he let them flow.  
/What the fuck is wrong with me? I cannot go around screwing with my room mate… I am NOT gay… I don't like guys… I like… Girls… I'm not a faggot…/

Axel took a long drag off his now lit cigarette hair still draped around his face, wet from his shower…  
Zexion spotted him and giggling quietly, jumped on him making him start in fright…  
The redhead just smiled briefly and went back to smoking.  
"Jesus… Ok then… Sorry I'm not Roxas…"  
Axel turned in surprise.  
"And what is that supposed to mean?"  
Zexion shook his head and started to walk away…  
"Dude I've had one friend walk away from me today, not you too…"  
The darkly clad teen wanted to walk away, but couldn't leave his friend without at least asking what was wrong.  
"Ok ok…"  
Zexion turned around taking a seat next to Axel in the middle of the steps, it was around 7 pm and the sun was turning the sky beautiful shades of pink and red, the blue grey haired teen pulled a camera from his pocket and took some pictures of the landscape.  
"I have a thing for sunsets, I like the thought of the end of something being so beautiful…"  
His eyes relaxed on the horizon and a smile spread across his usually glum looking features making him quite attractive…  
Axel felt himself drawn to Zexion, but kept his eyes on the sunset and his mouth firmly shut.  
"So what happened with you and Roxas?"  
Zexion asked with concern in his face but his eyes still fixated on the red and pink distant sky.  
"Well…"  
Axel tried to begin, but found himself uncomfortable, distracted…  
Zexion turned his grey blue eyes on Axel raising an eyebrow.  
The redhead made a mental note of how close Zexion's eye and hair colour were, when he realized the other teen was staring at him he began telling his story.  
"Um… Me and Roxas fooled about a little, uh… Earlier… I came to find him out here smoking… Suddenly he's all cold… I-I'm not sure what I've done to upset him…"  
Zexion nodded and pulled Axel towards him laying Axel's head on his shoulder.  
"If you know anything about Roxas, you should know that he likes time alone…"  
Axel's forehead creased in frustration.  
"I know but if I leave him I'm afraid he'll…"  
"Vomit?"  
"Well… Yeah…"  
Zexion ran his hand through Axel's hair hugging him affectionately.  
"He needs his time… Looks like you've been trying very hard Axel… He still needs his space regardless of his illness… Just like you do and just like I do… Every time you're left alone you don't run off and cut do you?"  
Axel shook his head still leaning on Zexion's shoulder.  
"No… I don't… But…"  
"But nothing Axel… He's new yes, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't trust him… If you can't trust him, how are you ever going to make your fooling around into anything more?"  
Zexion smiled down at Axel in the kind of way that made Axel feel like the world could be ending but he'd still feel alright with it.  
He wasn't even aware of the fact that Zexion could make him feel that way…  
"Now Axel… What are you going to do?"  
The redhead felt his heart thumping against his chest as he felt Zexion's breath on his face.  
"I-I'm… Gonna…"  
Zexion smiled.  
"Yes?"  
"… Kiss you…"  
Axel's lips pressed against Zexion's much to the shock of the grey blue haired teen.  
/Wha... Why? Doesn't he like… Roxas? Oh no… Roxas…/  
Even as he thought these thoughts he felt his hands slide up Axel's back embracing him, letting him kiss him, kissing him back, slowly…  
/This is so… Bad… What about… Roxas…?/  
His thoughts silenced as Axel's tongue entered his mouth playing with his tongue daring him to deepen the kiss…  
With a breath in he did without a second thought…  
The fact that they were sitting on the steps in clear view of staff members and other patients didn't seem to matter right at that very moment…  
Bright light shot against their closed eyes, still almost blinding them, or perhaps the sensation, was just that good...  
Neither could be quite sure as they sat there…  
The light faded from their eyelids, the sun had set and both slowly, reluctantly pulled away, wondering how long they had been there for…  
Both stared, shocked, breathless…  
Zexion's eyes darted to his shoes…  
He stared wide eyed, and as quickly as he had arrived, he left again…  
Leaving Axel sitting alone on the stairs, feeling every bit as shocked as Zexion was…  
His eyes wandered along the steps, wondering what time it was…  
Slowly he stood up and checking his watch, he realized that they'd kissed for just over an hour and that he was currently missing dinner…

Roxas entered the dining room, searching for Axel against his better judgement.  
/I'm not a faggot…/  
Instead he sat down beside the pretty blonde haired girl he'd spotted before…  
Just as the starter was set down in front of them Axel strolled into the room his eyes searching just as Roxas' had when he entered…  
But his eyes passed over Roxas…  
Or that's how it looked as Axel took a seat where he usually sat next to two empty seats…  
Roxas stared across the table to Axel longingly, but forced himself to make conversation with the girl sitting next to him…  
Shortly afterwards Zexion entered and looking desperate realized there was no where to sit but with Axel…  
/Fuck…/  
He took the seat to the right of him smiling politely at Axel who seemed to turn a light pink as Zexion's eyes passed over him.

"So… What's your name?"  
The blonde girl turned around to realize that it was in fact her that Roxas was talking to.  
"Me? Oh…"  
She blushed slightly.  
"I'm Namine… What's your name?"  
The blonde boy grinned.  
"Roxas… What are you in for?"

Axel was slowly sipping his soup keeping a watchful eye from across the table at what Roxas was up to…  
He spotted him giggling with the young blonde girl, which left him feeling half hurt and half wanting to make out with Zexion right now, just to see what his reaction would be…  
/Wait…/  
The redhead stopped eating pausing to think of how public his and Zexion's little make out session had been.  
/He could've passed… Easily, he smokes, he probably came out for one before dinner and spotted us… Fuck…/  
Axel felt all colour drain from his face and he quickly left the table, leaving Zexion awkwardly sipping his soup…  
/Do I say something…?/  
His eyes caught Roxas' eyes over the table and he waved which was returned…  
/He's waving, he couldn't have seen us… But who's that he's talking to...? And why? Isn't he…/  
Zexion stroked his chin in thought, realizing how little they knew about Roxas and what a short time they'd known him and also noting how much had happened in such a short time…  
Thinking that Axel was now alone and probably feeling either quite guilty, jealous, or a mixture of both left the table to find him…  
Roxas noticed when Zexion left the room, as he had noticed, despite himself, when Axel had…

His hair still around himself he strolled out into the now cold night…  
Green eyes gazing at the sky, then the ground, as if trying to decide which one he preferred…  
He made his way towards the gardens…  
Feeling he needed to be left alone he quickened his pace, knowing that if he kept moving, he would be much harder to find…

Zexion walked along the now dark corridor towards Axel and Roxas' room, keeping his footsteps as quick and quiet as possible, so that if Axel was going to run for it, he would be able to get closer before he tried…  
/I didn't mean for this to happen… I find it hard to believe you did either…/  
Twisting the door handle darkness met his gaze, he flipped on the light switch to find an empty room and an empty bathroom…  
/Fuck…/

Roxas having found out the girls name and now onto his main course began to ponder where Axel and Zexion had gotten to…  
/They both left before the main course… Neither of them have what I have… Right? So where are they…?/

Axel was now walking through one of the many gardens…  
He passed through gate after gate…  
Finally settling on the bench in the rose garden where he lay back to look at the stars which were just beginning to appear in the velvety navy sky…

Zexion made his way out the front door, just as the front door clicked closed Roxas left the dining room with the intention of finding Axel and Zexion and exposing whatever it was they were up to… He made his way down the corridor to where their rooms were situated…

The blue grey haired teenager walked down the steps wondering where Axel would run off to at a time like this…  
/I know he must feel guilty, but running away isn't the way to deal with it…/  
Zexion made off towards the courts feeling that Axel might be hiding in there, since no one would be there at night…

Roxas meanwhile finding both rooms empty, grabbed his hoody and feeling slightly angered made his way back to the front door…  
/I will find them… Then I'll know I was right about them…/

Zexion finding nothing but a couple embracing in the basketball court made his way towards the gardens…  
/It's there or the gardens, I doubt he'd go to the pool…/  
His feet crunched across the wet gravel as he tried to piece together what he would say to Axel when he actually found him…

Roxas pulled open the front door, making his way down the steps and out into the darkness…  
It was very dark outside, but after a short while, his eyes became accustomed to seeing in the dark, he could also hear perfectly and somewhere close enough to him someone's feet were crunching through the gravel…  
/That has to be one of them…/  
Roxas followed the sound intently hearing his way through the darkness until the crunching stopped…

Axel's view was blocked by grey blue eyes staring into his own.  
"Axel, we need to talk about what happened today and I don't want you to run off… Dinner was awkward… But I… Well you're my friend… Shouldn't we be able to talk about… This?"  
The redhead pushed his hair out of his face and sat up making room on the bench for Zexion to sit down.  
Axel sighed deeply.  
"I… I don't know what happened to me… I just… You were being so nice… And you understood… Something overcame me and then… I just… Couldn't help it…"  
He gazed upwards again avoiding Zexion's gaze…  
"I… Understand…"  
He said slowly…  
"It seemed right… But… It wasn't… So long as we know that… We can move on… Right?"  
The redhead sighed deeply.  
"I don't know… I just… I really like… Roxas… But… Then today just…"  
Zexion looked up at the stars leaving Axel staring at his pale skin which the moon seemed to illuminate…  
The grey blue haired teen switched his gaze from the stars to Axel's eyes he cocked his head slightly making his hair fall into his face…  
Axel leaned towards Zexion's ear…  
"Blew my mind…"  
His lips were on Zexion's again…  
There was no fight, no resistance, no restraint, both just let themselves get lost in it…  
Their lips were close but separated often as if to allow for breathing, although their kissing was gentle it was intense…  
Almost as intense as the jealousy that Roxas felt as he stepped out from behind a rose bush…  
"Having a nice time?"  
Both boys jumped away from each other in fright…  
"I knew I was right about you…"  
Roxas felt tears burn his eyes as he turned away, it was what he felt he needed to see…  
He would not be as attracted to Axel if Axel liked someone else…  
Or that's what he would tell himself to make the pain ease off…  
/How could he say those things… Make those promises and then do that to me…?/  
Roxas began to run towards the mansion again with one intention on his mind leaving Axel and Zexion staring confusedly at each other and Axel with one nagging thought.  
/Why did I do that…?/

Back in the room slumped over the toilet, lay Roxas, again slipping his fingers down his throat, gagging and feeling it all come up again…  
Tears left his eyes which had nothing to do with the fact that he was vomiting…


	9. Chapter 9

They sat alone in the darkness…  
Breathless from their kissing, a deep guilt hanging over both of their heads…  
Zexion let out a sigh into the night air which made it visible…  
"Axel… We really… We can't do this… I feel…"  
The redhead had his head in his hands.  
"I know… I feel…"  
But before he could get the words out they were kissing again.  
"Mmm… Axel…"  
He whispered it on the breeze…  
Like something forbidden, only to be enjoyed when others were not near, when no one could see…  
Lips on his neck made Zexion sigh loudly, Axel straddled him kissing his open lips passionately…  
As bad as he felt about doing this, he felt like it would be a hard habit to break…

Roxas lay across the toilet…  
Eyes tear stained he could feel the lump in his throat becoming bigger as he imagined them together…  
Axel making his fake promises to Zexion…  
Stringing them together in an amusing way, until he became bored of it, then just like he had done to him he would surely burn them back down to what they had been…  
Nothing…  
A fortress of ash is all that would remain…  
Roxas felt like ash…  
Blackened, unclean and like he could just blow away at any moment, come apart, not exist anymore…  
Even his mind was oddly still…  
His realization about not liking girls didn't come as much of a shock, his liking of boys however was something that was not supposed to happen…  
Tears fell on the porcelain as his mind fell on the realization that he was alone…

Axel threw Zexion back onto his bed, pulling his own shirt off…  
All they felt was passion, no love, some caring, like how friends care, Axel's was not the soft caress of a lover, but the touch of someone wanting, longing…  
Axel's lips traced Zexion's hip bones, slowly he removed Zexion's t shirt over his head…  
Zexion almost immediately got to work on Axel's belt…  
As badly as he felt doing this to Roxas, he was aching to have Axel on top of him…  
Inside of him…  
His fingers worked quickly on the belt and the buttons, revealing Axel's boxers and what was clearly inside them…  
Axel had Zexion's jeans on the floor in no time…  
The redheads breath and heart beat were reaching fever pitch by the look on Zexion's face he was feeling exactly the same thing…  
His body was screaming 'take him' but his mind was shouting right back 'no you both know this is wrong, go find Roxas…'  
Now on top of him Axel was beginning to obey his body more and more…  
Zexion was now naked thanks to Axel's teeth pulling his boxers off him…  
Grey eyes looked lustfully into green ones as hands pulled off boxers…  
There would be no foreplay, no preparation, they both knew they would just fuck until they were both satisfied…  
Axel took Zexion in his arms and moved forward…  
"No…"  
The redhead stopped dead in his tracks…  
"No?"  
Zexion shook his head.  
"I can't do this in sane and sober mind… I feel guilty… My guilt just outweighed my lust… I can't do this to Roxas…"  
Axel backed off starting to feel ashamed of his actions.  
"I… Should've never started it… I kissed you… You have no reason to feel guilty… It's all my fault… I'm so sorry…"  
Quickly gathering his things and getting dressed Axel left Zexion's room and sprinted towards his own.  
/Roxas… I'm so sorry… Why did I do this…?/  
He threw open the bedroom door and caught sight of Roxas asleep on the side of the toilet…  
It was clear what he had been doing…  
It was clear that he had been crying too…  
He kneeled down beside Roxas sleeping form and wrapped his arms gently around him picking him up and carrying him to bed…  
When he laid him on the bed he went to flush the toilet hoping that no one had caught Roxas in the act…  
When he saw to it that the bathroom was immaculate he closed the door and shut the bathroom light off…  
Slowly he approached Roxas bed careful not to wake him up…  
Tears stung his eyes.  
/Why did I… I wish, it'd never happened…/  
He crouched over Roxas hugging his small form waking him up.  
"Ummm…"  
He rolled over and realizing who was hugging him sat up and pulled back.  
"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"  
Axel held onto him afraid to let him go.  
"I'm sorry Roxas, I was wrong… I…"  
Roxas raised his hand and slapped him straight across the face hard sending him to the floor.  
"I've heard enough from you, don't fucking touch me you fag… One more incident like that and I swear I'll report you for screwing with my progress… Cause that's exactly what you're doing…"  
Axel lay there, still and silent.  
Without another word, he stood up and without undressing got straight into bed, his back was turned to Roxas…  
He stared at the wall, trying hard to stifle the sound of his crying he pulled the blankets over his head and curled up under them knees pulled up to his chest.  
Roxas looked over at Axel's bed, feeling momentarily bad for what he'd just done, then the thought of him and Zexion together clouded his thoughts with rage and he rolled over to fall back into a deep hate filled sleep…

Roxas had dreams that night…  
Dreams of Axel…  
Comforting him, kissing him, holding him and drying his tears…  
He fought Axel's touch in his dreams…  
Cried as Axel put his arms around him and held him there…  
Leaned into his chest and inhaled his scent…  
'Axel…'  
He sighed happily into his dream Axel's chest.  
'You hurt me…'  
The redhead let his head fall onto Roxas shoulder and he sighed deeply, tearfully…  
'I know I have… I've hurt you and I've hurt myself by hurting you… Roxas…'  
Roxas raised his head tearful blue eyes meeting tear filled green ones...  
Axel's eyes darted in every direction to avoid Roxas gaze…  
'I feel so bad for hurting you… How could I hurt you… When I love you… So much…'  
Roxas felt himself slip from the dream Axel's grip…  
Suddenly he was falling…  
He reached out and called to him.  
"AXEL!"

He sat up in bed drenched in sweat, he looked over to Axel's bed which was empty…  
The tears from his dream had been real, even if the Axel in his dream had only been a figment of his imagination.  
Sitting back against his pillows he let the tears fall freely down his face…  
/I feel, so alone… Why did my mother take me here… I want… I want…/  
Before he could finish this thought Axel walked into the room looking worn out and drowsy, he walked right by Roxas and dropped onto his bed.  
The blonde teen watched him as he blinked mindlessly at the ceiling…  
He could clearly see the tears he was blinking away from his eyes, but Axel remained dead silent.  
Roxas thought this would mean he'd stay still and went to check his wrists, but Axel pulled violently away without even looking at him.  
He wasn't sure who was hurting more here, him or Axel…  
Seeing as he wasn't getting anywhere here Roxas took a shower…  
By the time he was leaving the room Axel hadn't moved, he was still staring at the same spot, tears still streaming silently down his face…  
Roxas unable to bear this scene any longer left the room and went to find the other half of the problem…  
Zexion…

As suspected Roxas found Zexion hiding in his room…  
The blonde teenager knocked before entering and sat quietly across from him on the other unused bed in the room.  
"Uh…"  
Zexion was also lying on his bed, staring into space…  
"If you want to know, I can tell you…"  
Roxas nodded.  
Zexion cleared his throat…  
"Well, although you probably have this built up to something huge in your head… It really wasn't that big a deal…"  
Roxas scoffed.  
The darkly clad teenager shot him a rather vicious look.  
"I can tell you Roxas, or you can leave… Your choice…"  
Roxas closed his mouth and nodded.  
"We were sitting on the steps outside… Axel was worried as always, about you…"  
"Me…?"  
"Yes… I was sitting there beside him and I laid his head on my shoulder telling him not to worry, I hugged Axel… I reassured him… I made him smile and forget about worrying, then when I asked him… 'Now what are you gonna do?' he looked up at me and replied, 'kiss you' before either of us knew what was what, we were kissing on the front steps… My first thoughts were of you and how you would react… But it was nice… It felt nice, he needed reassurance and I gave it to him…"  
Roxas gulped away the lump in his throat.  
"I see…"  
Then suddenly he remembered that it was not only one time…  
"What about when I caught you at it? What happened there?"  
Zexion spread his legs out in front of him.  
"I went to find Axel after dinner, because he had been freaking out over you again… You made it quite clear that you didn't want to be near him before the first time we did it… Said that you felt dirty after what had happened… Did you not?"  
"Well yeah but…"  
"So I went to talk to him… About what had happened between me and him… About how it couldn't happen again… But once again when I found him… He was pretty upset about you but also excited about what had happened that day…"  
Zexion began to feel a little bit of contempt towards the blonde boy.  
"He said it blew his mind in fact…"  
Zexion paused purposefully to gauge Roxas' reaction.  
Roxas thought he was going to be sick.  
"Against both of our better judgements…"  
He continued feeling better now that Roxas was obviously feeling so much worse.  
"We kissed again… He got a little carried away… Then you caught us and he felt damned awful… But also somewhat angry… He felt like he wanted revenge on you to be honest… So we went back to my room…"  
Roxas eyes filled with tears.  
Zexion continued.  
"And we kissed and he laid me on this bed and took my clothes off…"  
"That's enough…"  
"I took his clothes off…"  
"I said that's enough…"  
"And just as we were about to fuck…"  
"I said STOP!"  
Zexion grabbed Roxas shoulders stopping him from leaving.  
"We stopped."  
Roxas mind stood still.  
"What?"  
Zexion sat Roxas back on the bed.  
"I told you, we stopped. Neither of us could do that to you… Axel couldn't do it and neither could I… I feel sorry and awful for everything and I know Axel does too he ran straight to you when we stopped, even though none of it was supposed to happen, it hurt you and I'm truly sorry…"  
Zexion got oddly quiet.  
"All we did was kiss, nothing else actually happened."  
Roxas nodded forgetting his feelings of rage and hurt in an instant and realized Axel felt exactly as he had…  
/Jealous, confused, hurt…/  
He left Zexion alone without another word and went back to their room, he walked in to find Axel no longer lying on the bed…  
Fear making the hairs on the back of his neck stand up he opened the bathroom door slowly, it opened to reveal Axel mindlessly pulling a blade along his inner arm and sighing out the pleasurable pain.  
"Axel… But… You promised…"  
The redhead didn't even turn his head but his voice was steady like the pain was something he barely even noticed.  
"You promised too Roxas… But you broke yours, so I'm breaking mine…"  
Roxas hands and voice started to shake as he tried to explain himself…  
But every cut the blade made in Axel's skin just made him more shaky.  
"I-I… Went to see Zexion…"  
"Oh did you… Fantastic…"  
Axel laughed bitterly.  
"He… He told me… Everything…"  
"And you want me to never come near you again and fuck off and die… Right? I'm working on that last part…"  
Roxas hand shakily reached out for the blade and tried to take it from Axel…  
"N-no… I don't want… You to… Die…"  
He gulped as the last word left his lips.  
Axel turned his arms over and Roxas began to cry…  
"Why did you… Why… I don't want you to die… If you die…"  
Roxas snatched the blade from Axel and stood up holding it to his throat, tears filled his eyes but his hand was steady, he took a deep breath to steady his voice.  
"If you try that again… I'll do it…"  
Axel rolled his eyes.  
"Yeah, I'm sure you will…"  
Roxas pushed the blade against his skin Axel looked unconvinced, until Roxas began slicing along his exposed collar bone.  
"I hate myself Axel, this shit doesn't scare me in the least…"  
Axel wanted to move towards Roxas but was afraid he would continue.  
"Please Roxas stop… Just please stop cutting this second… I'm sorry for everything I did, it was fucked…"  
Roxas continued down across his chest slicing his t shirt in the process.  
"This isn't about you being sorry Axel… This is about keeping a promise... This is about you seeing how I feel when I see you harm yourself, you were doing quite well in distracting me from getting sick… You helped me… So if this is the only way you will learn…"  
He moved the blade down towards his stomach cutting the front of his t shirt open exposing his whole chest.  
"So be it…"  
Axel fell to his knees.  
"I promise you… If you stop right now… I will never do it again… Just please… Stop…"  
Roxas saw the desperation in his face…  
And dropped the blade…  
Axel stood up and moving slowly towards Roxas hugged him tightly and wept as he felt Roxas in his arms…  
"I'm sorry for everything I've done… It's all been so fucked… I just want to be ok… I want us to be ok… I want to get away from all of this and just… Be with you…"  
Roxas wrapped his arms around Axel and hugged him back.  
/It might take some time… But maybe one day, we'll be ok…/

Roxas turned on the shower, there was dried blood from his neck to his stomach, the cuts were not deep… Just enough to make Axel realize how bad an effect his little habit had on him…  
Axel's arms were once again cut to ribbons…  
Roxas helped him with his clothes without even thinking he stripped off his trousers and stepped under the spray of water with Axel, running the water over his cuts…  
Then kissing them and finally kissing his lips.  
He pulled away with his eyes still closed.  
"I've been such a coward… I was afraid… Of what people would think of me for liking another guy… I was afraid of being that 'faggot' they called me in school… That my dad called me at home… But what if I don't just like another guy…"  
Axel's lips caught Roxas in a passionate kiss…  
Their tongues explored each others mouths and their eyes fell closed against the warm water…  
Slowly they pulled apart…  
"What if… What if… I think… I love him?"  
Axel's eyes met Roxas' his hair was hanging in his face and the water made it hard to see if he was crying or not…

They left the shower…  
Roxas went to leave the bathroom…  
But Axel laid a hand on his shoulder and turning him around slowly kissed him again…  
Letting his hands wander everywhere and anywhere…

Before either one could fully comprehend what was going on, Axel was on top of Roxas…  
The blonde boy looked a little nervous.  
"Um…"  
"We don't have to you know…"  
"No… It's not that… I want to it's just…"  
Axel cocked his head slightly to the side his wet hair hanging down around his face.  
Roxas voice dropped to a whisper.  
"I've never done this before…"

Axel made sure to be gentle as he entered a finger making a small cry of pain come from Roxas.  
"If you want to stop…"  
He nodded wincing as Axel slid another well lubed finger easily inside him…  
A small gasp escaped his lips…  
Axel slid his fingers out and looked into Roxas eyes.  
"Are you sure…"  
Roxas nodded again as Axel slowly slid inside him…  
Roxas felt inch after inch enter, first pain, then pleasure, his eyes closed as Axel rocked his hips slowly against Roxas…  
"Axel…"  
He whispered as Axel gripped him gently pleasuring him in time with his thrusts…  
"I… I love you…"  
Roxas hands gripped Axel's biceps as his breathing began to quicken his heart was beating so fast he could feel it in his brain…  
/Thump thump thump…/  
Everything for a single moment seemed to be in sync…  
His heartbeat…

Axel's thrusts inside him…

Even his own breath…

Then his heart seemed to stop for a moment…

He felt himself orgasm and felt Axel orgasm deep inside him…

Their sighs of complete ecstasy were in sync as they held tightly to each other…

Their breathing calmed as they kissed each other, their heartbeats lessened as they lay near each other and their bodies felt oddly alone as they parted…

Axel held Roxas closely as they slept in the same bed…  
It was like all that had happened didn't matter…  
They were who they were, they had shared what they had done and no matter what either of them had done before hand or who was involved…  
They were not here now…  
The world was not here now…  
Just them, their bodies suspended in the blankets that held them as they held each other…

Everything was ok, just like they'd promised each other it would be…

It didn't matter how long they kept this promise for, only that they had fulfilled it…

And perhaps even only keeping it for this short time, one night…

Would be worth it.


	10. Chapter 10

Roxas awoke early the next morning feeling blissfully light as his eyes flickered open to meet the light that they had forgotten to switch off in all that had happened in the night before…  
He freed himself from Axel's hug and sliding his legs over the side of the bed his bare feet hit the cold floor he shivered tempted to get back into bed, loneliness suddenly flooding over him as he watched Axel's sleeping form.  
Everyone was probably asleep…  
The possibility of him being the only one awake at this time seemed quite likely and with this thought in mind, he went into the bathroom, his eyes momentarily stopping on the toilet…  
But his hand reached out to the tap of the shower instead, steam rising from the showerhead as the hot water met the cold morning air…  
He stepped in still devoid of clothing from the night before.  
"Mmm…"  
He let the water spill onto his shoulders, his back and his neck…  
Cuts stinging slightly as the water cleansed what would probably leave scars…  
/Even if it does… If that's what will make him stop for good… So be it…/  
A single drop of water hung from the end of his nose which he wiped away, sweeping his wet hair back from his face all in one movement…  
His hands vigorously wiped his body, cleansing himself…  
The memories of last night still fresh in his memory, he could close his eyes and remember Axel's face close to his own, eyes locked onto his, the intensity, but also the gentle rhythm of his movements had surprised him…  
Somewhere along the way he had made up his mind about Axel being a rough lover, so his gentle worried approach to Roxas' own personal pleasure had been a very pleasant experience indeed.  
Switching the water off, he shook the excess water from his hair and body…  
The toilet was once again in his sight…  
He searched his mind for a good reason, something anything, an excuse, not to…  
But he fell to his knees, like bowing to his master, he leaned over…  
A noise came to his ears which sounded like Axel moving which shocked him straight into standing back up…  
Then when he realized Axel had just been moving in his sleep he relaxed again and slowly left the bathroom, it took several minutes for what had just happened to register in his head.  
He was in the midst of pulling one of his socks on when it hit him.  
/I just didn't get sick… At all I didn't even attempt it because I thought Axel would see…/  
The blonde boy sat on the edge of his bed in utter shock in nothing but boxer shorts and one sock he tried to remember how he'd just forgotten…  
When the redheaded boys hand brushed past him while he was oblivious he started a revolution without even realizing.  
Roxas head turned to look at Axel, who was peacefully blissfully unaware of anything…  
/Axel…/  
His head leaned into the redheads and he kissed his sleeping lips.  
Nothing more needed to be said as he pulled his t shirt on…

He clicked the light switch off and closing the door quietly behind him he set off down the hallway which looked oddly still, it was never very crowded, but it seemed dark, still perhaps…  
Taking light steps he made his way to the front door and gently creaking it open went outside into the before dawn light…  
Dim light, peaceful and quiet…  
He walked across the gravelled grounds and came to a white fence over looking the yellow field that Axel had pointed out minutes after he'd arrived here…  
Climbing over the small fence, he found the clearing of flat grass where people usually sat…  
Pulling out what seemed to be his last one, he toasted the oncoming sunrise with a large drag of his just lit cigarette…  
Sighing he noted that the horizon was beginning to burn, the sun would be coming up soon…

Axel still sleeping reached out half asleep across the bed to cuddle Roxas, but felt nothing but empty space.  
"Huh? Roxas…?"  
Blinking his eyes open he noticed a neat piece of folded paper near where his hand was, his name was scrawled across it in neat writing which looked familiar.  
"Hmmm…"  
Opening it he peered curiously at the letter.

Dear Axel,

I knew you'd wake up in a panic if I wasn't here when you woke up.  
You should learn to worry less, it ages you terribly I've heard…  
I'm in the field outside having a cigarette if you want to join me, I just woke up and couldn't get back to sleep…

See you soon.

Roxas.

Axel smiled at his concern of him thinking he'd get worried.

P.s: I'm keeping my promise this time.

This meant more to him than he could express through words…  
Throwing his clothes on in insane excitement he rushed out of their door and down the hall, he was out the front door in seconds and rushed to jump the fence.

Roxas was sitting calmly in the field smoking, eyes blinking at the horizon which was slowly becoming reddish reminding him irresistibly of a certain persons hair…  
He smiled to himself…  
Axel ran up behind him and in utter excitement threw himself on the smaller boy.  
"What the?"  
Roxas was on his back being kissed lovingly by Axel who was on top of him replaying the 'p.s' part of the letter in his head repeatedly…  
He moved off Roxas feeling maybe he'd overreacted… Slightly…  
Roxas laughed a little.  
"Missed me huh?"  
/More than you know…/  
Slowly the blonde boy rested his head against Axel's shoulder eyes still on the point where the sun was promising to rise, feeling Roxas head against him, he moved his arm very slowly around him so as not to scare him off…  
Instead of being scared or freaked out Roxas held onto one of his fingers, like it comforted him…  
Axel stared at the top of the blonde boys head, leaning low and kissing it.  
They both stared at the horizon as the sun broke the barrier of it and bore the first bright sunrays of the day…  
Feeling the warmth of Axel's arms around him now he let himself relax and laughed at the irony of the fact that he had fought coming here…

Silence reigned until the sun had completely broken the horizon.

Then Axel sighed happily pulling Roxas closer to him…  
"I want to say so much to you right now… But I just cannot grasp the words…"  
Roxas looked up at him, hypnotising green eyes seemed to stare into his soul, making him nervous and excited all at once…  
Next thing he knew he was laying on his side Axel wrapped around him, lips upon lips…  
There was something just so blissfully right about this that he just couldn't imagine anyone seeing anything wrong with what they were doing…  
Axel pulled away feeling stupid blushing…  
"I think… I think…"  
He repeated...  
Voice falling to a whisper he continued the sentence which Roxas did not understand at all…  
"Sorry Axel? I didn't hear you…"  
"Don't make me say it again…"  
"Awww come on! I didn't hear you, you whispered, that's not fair…"  
"That's just tough then isn't it?"  
Roxas slouched into Axel's arms pouting.  
"Hmph…"

Later that day…  
Roxas phone rang unexpectedly.  
Axel raised an eyebrow.  
"You might want to answer that eh?"  
The blonde boy picked up the phone and stepping outside the room he answered it vaguely recognising the number from somewhere…  
He recognised the voice straight away…  
"Roxas… Hi…"  
"Hello…"  
He replied stiffly.  
"What do you want?"  
Her breath was raspy as she talked into the phone…  
"Well…"  
"Well…?"  
There was a long pause…  
"Somethings happened… I'll be coming to pick you up in the morning…"  
"W-What?"  
His mother sounded like she was sobbing.  
"I'll tell you when I come to pick you up… For now just get ready and packed up to leave…"  
"But wait…"  
The phone had bleeped dead…  
Leaving Roxas, with not only a family problem of some sort, but also with the possibility of, he felt it almost unbearable to think of…

He pushed the door of the room open, looking pale and like he was going to pass out.  
"So who was it… Jesus Roxas what's wrong? You look like death…"  
Axel got up to take a closer look.  
"Seriously… Are you okay…?"  
Roxas let himself fall onto the bed.  
"No… I'm really not ok…"  
Roxas eyes gazed into those worried green eyes…  
His stomach filled up with absolute sorrow…  
This was how he'd felt before he'd met Axel, the sudden urge to vomit came back not because he wanted to…  
But because he felt it might just happen anyway…  
Axel's concerned eyes had not moved an inch…  
/How… How am I gonna break it to him?/  
Tears glazed his eyes over as he realized that there would be nothing he could do about this…  
Like it or not…  
He was going home tomorrow…  
And it didn't sound like she was planning on sending him back either…  
/Axel…/  
The tears now spilled as Axel now totally confused wrapped his arms around his young lover…  
"Roxas, spill it… What's up?"  
Slowly clearing his throat he wanted to stall the news of his imminent departure being told for as long as possible…  
"Well…"  
He started.  
"Somethings happened at home…"  
The redhead hugged Roxas.  
"Are you okay?"  
Now Roxas shook his head sobbing.  
"No… That's not the worst of it…"  
Axel didn't seem to understand.  
"Eh? What could be worse than that?"  
Roxas gulped tears now spilling freely down his face.  
"I'm leaving tomorrow…"


	11. Chapter 11

Axel stepped back letting go of Roxas…  
"W-what?"  
Roxas didn't move from the spot his eyes were now gazing to the ceiling, he didn't by any means want to see the expression that met his eyes when he lowered them from the ceiling…  
Axel was sitting on his bed, eyes wide full of tears and his hand cupped over his mouth as if he wanted to speak and was attempting to pull the words out…  
His hand moved to the side of his face and he opened his mouth and closed it again, his forehead was creased as he tried to comprehend what he was being told…  
Axel closed his eyes and took a deep breath, Roxas could see tears clearly stream down his face over the place where his tattoos were…  
His hand had returned to his mouth, with his eyes still closed, he spoke slowly.  
"You're leaving tomorrow…?"  
"…Yes…"  
The redhead breathed out like the next sentence he was going to say might just kill him.  
"…Will you be coming back…?"  
Roxas eyes met his feet Axel's eyes were still closed as if trying to wake up from an awful nightmare.  
"I… She didn't say…"  
His face contorted as he heard these words leave Roxas mouth, like hearing each syllable was another dagger to his soul his very existence…  
A loud sob escaped his lips, eyes still closed his fists balled up so tightly he was going white in the knuckles…  
His eyes opened full of tears, his hands opened uselessly empty in front of his open green eyes, he gazed at them breathing in sobbing gasps…  
"I-I just don't understand… Why… Why is she taking you… It makes… No… Sense…"  
His hands were at either side of his head now staring at the bedcovers he was sitting on, he was beginning to hyperventilate…  
Roxas approached his side in silence, his words would mean nothing right now, so he chose to stay silent and hugged Axel instead.

This was the position they were in when Zexion stepped into the room.  
"Hey guy… Jesus! What's wrong?"  
He watched Axel sob into Roxas chest as they lay side by side on the bed, Roxas eyes were also swollen, red and blotchy from what he guessed was hours of crying…  
He looked from one to the other and sat on the bed across from them, not knowing how to handle the situation…  
He assumed he should just stay solitary and quietly support them when Roxas voice could be heard…  
Nothing more than a whisper…  
"Something happened at home… So I'm leaving tomorrow."  
Zexion sat up scratching the back of his head forehead furrowed in deep thought.  
"What's happened at home? If you don't mind me asking…"  
Roxas shook his head wiping away tears with the tips of his fingers.  
"If I knew, I'd tell you… She won't tell me…"  
Zexion nodded reflecting on what he'd just heard.  
"But… You're not better… Are you?"  
Roxas shook his head.  
"A little, maybe… But I'm not ready to leave… I still have urges… The truth is, Axel's being helping me… Loads… I wouldn't be this far if it wasn't for Axel…"  
His voice faltered as he began to cry again…  
Axel put his arm around Roxas shoulders and held him close…  
The darkly clad teenager got up and began to pace the room like he was thinking very hard.  
"Surely… There's something…"  
The blonde boy looked up a little surprised.  
"You want me to stay?"  
He said in a tiny voice…  
Zexion raised an eyebrow at Roxas.  
"Course I do… What you think I want you gone?"  
Roxas shook his head and then nodded a little…  
"Maybe…"  
Zexion smiled a little at Roxas.  
"No… I don't want you gone Roxas… Like I said, me and Axel are friends that got a little too um what's the word… Friendly… Nothing more… Got it memorized?"  
Axel gave Zexion a look and couldn't help but laugh a little despite himself and between sobs apprehended him.  
"That's my catchphrase…"  
Silence fell like a tonne of bricks upon them as they all stared in random directions avoiding each others gazes…  
Roxas eyes were glazing over with tears again…  
/I wish I didn't have to leave…/

Later on after dinner that night, Roxas made his way out to the grounds leaving Zexion and Axel playing pool in the games room…  
/They won't notice if I'm gone for a few minutes…/  
He stood out on the steps down to the gravel looking up at the stars, there were more stars here than he could see at home…  
He put his hands in his hoody pocket walking down the steps mentally saying goodbyes to everything around him…  
He had been here maybe a week and a half, if even…  
Although he was unsure of the length of time he'd spent here, he knew that it had helped him, that he'd new experiences and met two people who cared for him, one of whom cared enough about him to give up someone they may have really wanted so that he wouldn't be hurt…  
/Where else am I gonna find that? I have nothing at home… No friends no understanding… Just… Just…/  
His hands had balled themselves into fists at the thought of it…  
/Him…/  
He walked as far as the fountain sighing he sat on the side of it…  
Even if he had only been here a short time, he'd made memories, he'd made friends…  
Now he felt alone and cold knowing that tomorrow he'd have to leave…  
Briefly he wondered if Zexion had meant what he'd said and if they'd wind up together when he left…  
/I want them both to be happy, if that makes them happy, so be it…/  
He reached for a cigarette but realizing he had smoked the last one, lay on his back at the edge of the fountain gazing at the stars…

Meanwhile Axel and Zexion had finished their game of pool and looked around the games room for Roxas.  
"He's been gone a while…"  
Zexion nodded.  
"Yeah, we should go look for him… I thought he was going for a cigarette…"  
They left the games room handing the cues to other people waiting to play.  
"Where do you think he'd go…?"  
Zexion enquired.  
"I'm not sure… Since it's his…"  
Axel gulped tears coming to his eyes…  
The grey blue haired teen put his hand on Axel's back, a silent sign of comfort…

Once at the stairs they headed in different directions agreeing to meet back there in fifteen minutes…

Axel set off towards the pool and court areas while Zexion headed towards the gardens…

Roxas was again wandering around the place discovering more of the place, statues he'd never seen before, flower gardens that were hidden from view, a maze made of hedges…  
He walked until he came back around to where the swimming pool was…  
Roxas laid his hand on the handle of the door, which was surprisingly unlocked…  
Walking into the large glass house which contained the swimming pool, an odd sense of helplessness and sadness came over him at the realization that after tomorrow he may never see Axel or Zexion again, worse still, that there was very little he could do about it…  
The water looked very still as he walked around the pool it glistened in the dark moonlight, looking more inviting by the second…

"Roxas… Roxas! Where are you?"  
Zexion had his long black jacket on, searching the gardens…  
/Where could this kid have gotten to…?/  
He glanced at his watch.  
/Guess I better head back if I'm to meet Axel…/

Axel's gaze became worried when he saw Zexion approach alone…  
"You didn't find him either huh…?/  
Zexion asked slightly puzzled.  
Axel shook his head.  
"Although, I didn't check the pool… But that'd be locked right?"  
Both teens gazed at each other worriedly and started to sprint to the pool.

Roxas was sitting beside it gazing down into the clear dark water...  
Standing up, he walked up to the deeper end and taking his shoes off left them by the side…  
His back now facing the pool he spread out his arms and let himself fall backwards into the water…

Axel and Zexion ran as fast as they could, hoping Roxas was not doing what they both feared he might be…  
He had seemed so calm towards dinner compared to his heartbroken sobs earlier it would make perfect sense…  
They burst through the door, their eyes searched the water, but nothing could be seen in the darkness…  
Moving quickly around the pool Zexion's eyes landed on a pair of trainers that looked very familiar and without even thinking threw his coat off and dived in…  
Axel watched his friend move into the darkness at the bottom of the pool…  
He waited tense and feeling sick at what the result of this could be…  
But before Zexion appeared Roxas came up for air at the shallow end wiping his eyes he waved casually…  
"I never used the pool, so I decided to come for a swim…"  
Axel looked sceptical.  
"Fully clothed?"  
Roxas shrugged.  
"I'm wearing white boxers…"  
Axel's mind wandered...  
Zexion reappeared gasping for air and laying eyes on Roxas looked highly confused he opened his mouth to ask Roxas when Axel told him.  
"He's never used the pool so he came for a swim…"  
Zexion raised an eyebrow which Axel just shrugged at.  
"Yes Zexion… Our dear Roxas is an oddball…"  
Zexion's hair was soaked and sticking to his face, he swam over to Roxas and standing up in the shallow end towering over him and shaking his head disapprovingly splashed him playfully.  
"I'll get you for that…"  
Roxas pulled an exaggerated angry face and swam after Zexion who had dived underwater again.  
Axel tried to see where they were swimming but couldn't in the darkness…  
Zexion re emerged at the edge and grabbing Axel's ankles made him tumble head first into the water.  
He re emerged with his red hair hanging in his face and grinning looked for Zexion.  
"You are so dead…"  
All three played in the pool shouting and screaming when the lights suddenly flicked on…  
"Eh?"  
All three of them stopped dead Axel and Zexion holding Roxas above their heads at the side of the pool preparing to throw him in…  
A familiar faced doctor took one look at the three of them and visibly had to stop himself from laughing…  
When he had composed himself in a professional manner again he cleared his throat.  
"I think you three should be getting to bed now…"  
Roxas was put gently on the ground again and they were making their way out when Zexion bumped against Roxas with his hip sending him flying into the water again.  
"You… You…"  
Seeing that the doctor was there he refrained from using bad language but once his back was turned both hands were over the edge of the pool both in single fingered salutes in response what Zexion had just done to him.  
Both Axel and Zexion laughed as Roxas pulled himself out of the pool grinning too…  
/Damn I'm gonna miss these guys…/

Zexion ruffled Roxas wet hair and laughing went into his own room but not before wishing them both 'a most sexcellent night'.

Their door closed with a soft thud as Axel pushed Roxas against it.  
"We may never get another…"  
Roxas silenced Axel with a soft kiss on his lips.  
"Shhh… I don't want to think about that right now…"  
Axel's hands busied themselves on buttons and his lips busied themselves on Roxas neck…  
Roxas tugged Axel's wet t shirt off over his head, kissing blindly and stumbling over the clothes they'd just thrown onto the floor their bodies eventually hit a bed.  
Axel's lips explored Roxas body whispering.  
"I want to remember every single bit of you…"  
Roxas felt Axel's tears fall upon his stomach, but he hid his face, wanting to enjoy what could possibly be their last night…  
When his lips finally returned to Roxas lips the tears were plain to see upon his cheekbones…  
They made shiny repetitive tracks down his face…  
Their fun seemed less playful now that they knew it could be their last time…

Axel slowly moved his fingers inside Roxas making him gasp slightly, but as he moved them rhythmically inside, Roxas felt himself wanting more…  
"Please…"  
Roxas gasped between stifled moans.  
Axel began to use his mouth on Roxas hardening length making him cry out even more.  
"Please… I want…"  
His fingers curled into the bedclothes as Axel continued to pleasure him.  
"I need it… Now… Please…"  
Axel stopped abruptly and lubricating himself thoroughly, positioned himself facing Roxas, laying him down gently on his back…  
Taking Roxas in his arms he entered him slowly, feeling the younger teens body react to Axel pulling him further down the bed...  
A long drawn out sigh escaped the blonde's lips…  
Roxas lip's caught his lovers…  
His breath escaping in small gasps with every thrust causing new pleasure and friction…  
Roxas hands tangled in Axel's still wet hair, pulling it slightly with every bit of pleasure he was feeling…  
"Don't… Stop…"  
The rhythm was getting faster, much faster than last time, Axel's hands held his hips close as thrust after thrust made him come closer and closer…  
Roxas threw his head back, his body jerking of its own accord as Axel grabbed his length in his hand and pleasured him until he came, releasing over their stomachs which were mere centimetres from each other…  
Axel thrust into him a few final times letting himself linger a little longer there remembering in his pleasure, the great pain they would both suffer tomorrow…

They lay beside each other, chests heaving from the exertion…  
Out of nowhere Roxas threw his arms around Axel and burying his head into the older teen's chest attempted to hide his tears…  
"You know I…"  
"I know…"  
Axel smiled weakly, holding back tears.  
"And I love you too…"

The next day Axel awoke alone…  
He sat up wide eyed looking around himself…  
All of Roxas things had been taken…  
There was nothing left…  
The room seemed so bare without his suitcase on the floor…  
Tears pricked his eyes…  
He punched the table which brought his eyes to a small scrap of paper on the desk…  
Curious he picked it up and unfolding it wished he hadn't found it…

Dear Axel,

I didn't want to wake you…  
Leaving was hard enough as it was…

As it turns out, my dad's in hospital…  
Took a massive heart attack...

Although I won't be able to see you, I will be able to write…  
Maybe even phone…  
I'd much rather be here with you than going back there…  
It would seem I'm going back to school soon too…  
Which means, it would seem that I'm not being let back…  
I'm sorry about everything that has happened between us I know it's probably causing you more pain than I'm worth…

Roxas.

On another scrap of paper a phone number and address fell out which Axel put in his pocket.  
/Roxas… How could you ever think I'd feel you weren't worth it…?/

Roxas was in the car beside his mother staring at the countryside mentally noting the way they were going should he decide to come back here…  
"So Roxas… Are you feeling any better…?"  
The blonde boy continued to look out the window.  
"No, in fact I feel worse."  
"Maybe it was a bad idea to send you there…"  
He turned to stare her down.  
"No, it was dumb of you to pull me out before my treatment was complete…"  
His mother's eyes visibly hardened.  
"Your father's in hospital and all you can think of is yourself…"  
"And all you can think of is that bastard…"  
"Don't speak about your father that way…"  
"I'll speak about that cum stained excuse of a human any fucking way I want…"  
His mother's eyes opened in slight shock at the use of his language.  
"What have they been teaching you in that place?"  
"Nothing really… I already had the gun, someone just taught me how to shoot and reload it."  
His mother looked visibly shocked by this statement and silence mingled with tension hung in the air…  
Roxas felt silently pleased with himself, despite the fact that he had to leave he was happy that Axel seemed to have left his mark on him…  
His eyes gazed listlessly out the window.  
/I wonder what he's doing now?/

Axel took a shower and got dressed, he went to breakfast and sat in silence with Zexion…  
Silence was not unwelcome between them, they had been friends so long it didn't matter how long either of them didn't feel like talking…  
They would eventually and until then, the other would wait patiently…  
In this case though, both seemed rather silenced by what had happened.  
Zexion had seen Roxas leave earlier, but decided not to tell Axel until a later date, the look of sadness upon the boys face as he waved goodbye to Zexion had been heartbreaking even for him...  
Therefore he figured Axel had enough heartache to deal with, without the fact that Roxas wasn't happy at all…

Roxas mother pulled the car into the hospital car park waiting for Roxas to get out of the car, which he did not do.  
"Are you getting out?"  
He shook his head eyes firmly staring out the windscreen.  
"He's your father, he's just had a heart attack and you won't even get out of the car to see him… You're a selfish little bastard!"  
"Get out of this car now…"  
Roxas shrugged and slammed the car door once he was out.  
"Don't slam the car door!"  
The blonde boy didn't even turn around he just kept walking towards the hospital.

Roxas walked in through the doors of the place and at the desk asked for his father and where he is.  
"It's only family we're letting in at the moment…"  
"Yeah, I know… I'm sad to say I'm his son…"  
The nurse gave him a rather startled look and told him which room to go to.  
He walked to the elevator and finding the right button the doors slid closed just as his mother entered the hospital.

The elevator made odd creaky noises as it climbed the floors…  
/Hmmm… With a bit of luck now the cords will snap and I'll fall to my untimely death…/  
But the cords did not snap and he was left safely to the floor right in front of the room. He wondered briefly why his father was in a private room then assumed his mother must have paid extra to get him in on his own.  
His father was in bed sitting up watching TV when he entered.  
"Hello Roxas…"  
Roxas glared down at him.  
"Back from that place eh? How're you feeling?"  
"Worse… Not that you'd care…"  
"Of course I care, I want you to get over your… Problem…"  
"What's this problem then dad?"  
He asked sarcastically leaning in close to him.  
"Is it the making myself SICK bit?"  
"Well yea…"  
"Is it the fact that you think I'm a pansy for getting beaten up at school bit?"  
"Wha?"  
"Or…"  
Roxas said deviously waiting wanting to savour this moment.  
"Is it the suspicion that because I have a 'girls illness' and I won't 'fight back' at school that you think I could be…"  
"Stop…"  
His fathers voice was certain and definitely angry.  
"Just stop it…"  
Roxas voice dropped to a whisper as he leaned over his father.  
"…Gay..."  
His father reached out and struck him sending him stumbling backwards into the wall, his back hit the wall and he began laughing spitefully…  
"Oh… I get it, you're ashamed of me because you think I'll turn out to be gay…"  
Roxas moved back to his father's bedside.  
"Well well well, my father the homophobic… That would explain a lot I suppose… Your shit parenting, the fact that you never even cared that I couldn't stand up for myself, you just assumed I should be able to, being your son… Your only son…"  
His father sat up dart straight in bed.  
"Roxas… I'm warning you…"  
"What? Are you going to hit me again? It's ok dad… We're in a hospital… They can fix me…"  
The last two words were said with particular bitterness out through his gritted teeth.  
"That's what you've always wanted right? A proper son…"  
He took his fathers face in his hands getting closer and closer.  
"Someone who could stand up for themselves… Who didn't need affection… Who was a real man… Not a boy… Right dad? You didn't want me…"  
The last words seemed to ring around the room…  
"A kid who looked up to you... Didn't like sports so he drew you pictures instead… But that's never what you wanted… I was never what you wanted… I get that now…"  
He moved away from his father and his face fell as he thought about this.  
"I guess I'm going to be your greatest disappointment then…"  
He sighed heavily moving close to his father again, the door creaked open as his mother entered.  
"Hi honey!"  
She addressed her husband cutting across Roxas.  
"How have you been…"  
Roxas broke their conversation up with two small words.  
"I'm gay."  
Both of their faces turned to look at Roxas his father looked like someone had just ripped his stomach out through his mouth.  
"W-what did you j-just say?"  
Roxas knew his dad's voice was shaking with anger and standing closely in front of his parents he repeated what he had just said.  
"I'm gay."  
His father's hand swung out to strike him, it was like everything had suddenly gone into slow motion, he saw his fathers hand come towards him and closed his eyes, the force was so great it sent him to the floor, he felt like a rag doll as he lay there.  
His father was up off the bed and his mother tried to hold him back from hurting Roxas any further.  
The blonde boy got up from the floor, and wiping blood away from his lip, drew back and punched his father straight in the nose sending him back onto the bed looking very shocked.  
"Oh… And it's not because I'm gay I don't stand up for myself you fucking douche bag… It's just that I don't believe in senseless violence… This however, was far from senseless…"  
With that said he left the room grinning like a madman.  
His mother chased after him shouting.  
"Where the fuck are you going get back here and apologise to your father!"  
"I'm going home you wench and I wouldn't apologise if you paid me… I hope the shock KILLS him."  
Roxas laughed manically as he walked towards the lift.  
Pressing the button the doors opened instantly and he went inside laughing until the doors closed…  
At which instant tears clouded his vision…

Elsewhere Axel was attempting to get near a phone while Zexion was distracting the newest edition to the staff members with his tales…

"So Zexion is it?"  
Zexion nodded shyly.  
"What seems to be the problem?"  
"Well… I've been feeling particularly depressed lately…"  
"Yes and why do you think you've been feeling this way?"  
Zexion shrugged.  
"I dunno, I guess there's quite a few reasons really…"  
The blonde doctor nodded.  
"I see… Any you feel like discussing?"  
Zexion nodded.  
"Actually yeah… But I kinda dunno where to begin…"  
"Well begin where you feel it started… Or where the memories feel clearest maybe?"  
Zexion shifted in his chair making his pretence at being actively depressed seem more real...  
"Um… Okay…"  
/Damn it… He's really hot…/  
"Well I guess the most recent was that my friend left this place, something happened, family related, but I know he wasn't better yet…"  
The doctor nodded understandingly.  
"Second… Uh… Would you be offended if I asked your name?"  
The blonde haired doctor pulled some hair out of his face looking at him wondering why he wanted to know…  
"I would just feel more comfortable knowing that I am piling my problems upon the shoulders of someone I know, rather than on someone who is just a face to me…"  
/An extremely pretty face…/  
The doctor nodded smiling.  
"My name is Demyx..."  
"So Doctor Demyx?"  
"No no… Just call me Demyx… So please continue."  
Zexion tried to hide a blush, having vivid fantasies of being examined by Doctor Demyx…  
"Um… Second my best friend is really torn up by my first friend's departure… They were really close you see…"  
Demyx nodded, Zexion was imagining him naked with nothing but the clipboard he was holding…  
"Thirdly… I think I could be gay…"  
The blonde doctor nodded again.  
"And when did these urges you're having become strong enough that you started considering that you might be gay?"  
Zexion gulped and stood up from his chair.  
"The moment I walked into this room…"  
With that Zexion sat on Demyx's lap and pulled him into a kiss which Demyx seemed to try resist enjoying…  
But when they pulled away Demyx looked as embarrassed as Zexion did…  
The grey blue haired teen grinned at Demyx.  
/I hope Axel's day is going as well as mine is!/

Axel found Demyx's office and grabbed the phone dialling fast he listened to it ring over and over…  
"Fuck…"  
He said slamming down the receiver and instantly picking it back up to dial again…

Roxas was walking home in the rain from the hospital, it wasn't far from where he was living… Maybe ten minutes walk… He left the car park of the place and looking left and right crossed the road.  
/I hate it so much here… If only…/  
His thoughts filled with Axel…  
/Yeah… If only…/

Axel continued to ring like a maniac...  
/I might not get a chance to get to ring again for a while… Damn it Roxas pick up…/

Roxas was now about five minutes from his house he seemed to be moving faster due to the rain and decided to run the last bit of the way…

Axel still had the phone in his hand ringing and ringing…

Roxas had reached the end of his driveway…

/He's not gonna answer…/  
Roxas heard the phone right from outside and fumbling with his keys in the door talked to no one in particular.  
"Don't hang up don't hang up!"  
He opened the door and grabbed the phone only to have it go dead on him.  
"Shit…"

Axel sat staring at the phone…  
/I guess he's not there right now…/  
When the phone started to ring...  
/I really shouldn't answer it, it's probably for Demyx…/  
And yet his hand reached out for the phone…  
"Hello?"  
"Hey… Axel?/  
"Roxas?"  
"Uh huh… It's me."  
"How'd you get this number?"  
"We have caller id duh…"  
"I-it's good to hear your voice…"  
Roxas could hear his voice falter.  
"Are you gonna be coming back or…"  
Roxas shook his head into the phone…  
"I-I just don't know Axel…"  
He could hear Axel sob at the other end of the line so he decided to quickly change the subject…  
"I went to see my dad… Told him I was gay…"  
Axel seemed to stop crying a little.  
"Oh yeah? What happened?"  
"He punched me… Bastard split my lip open…"  
"And what did you do?"  
"Punched the prick in the nose and told him to fuck off basically… Then walked off laughing like a maniac…"  
Axel giggled a little down the phone.  
"I'm glad you're ok…"  
Roxas suddenly looked down.  
"I-I'm not okay… I feel lonely… I feel weak being back here… I… Miss you…"  
Tears ran down his face and he sobbed into the phone.  
"I don't want to be here Axel… I want to be back there, I felt like I was home there… Now, I feel like I don't belong, I'm in my house alone and I feel like I shouldn't be here at all… I feel like I'm intruding, they don't want me here Axel… I know they don't…"  
Axel sighed.  
/I have to be strong for Roxas sake.  
"Of course they want you there Roxy… Your mom came to pick you up cause she cares and wants you there…"  
"That's bullshit Axel, they both despise me… They wish I could be someone I'm not… I was pretty much told to shut up and go back to school and they didn't give a fuck if I was over it or not… They don't understand Axel… They never will…"  
Axel paused on the line.  
"If it's the last thing I do Roxas… I promise you with everything I am, I'll get you out of there as soon as I can… Even if it takes years… Just you wait… Fuck… Someone's coming near the office… I have to go… I'll try my best to keep in touch, remember what I said… I love you and I'll live for you… Bye."  
The phone went dead in Roxas hands, his last contact with the inside had just been cut off…  
What was worse he would have to wait for Axel to get in touch with him…  
Sure he could write letters, but they would take forever…

Slowly but surely, Axel's letters became less and less frequent…  
The calls faded away into nothing…  
He was always busy preparing for something…  
Or as Roxas assumed, someone…

Months passed and Roxas loneliness grew hugely…  
Antidepressants were apart of his daily routine now and his body was fast declining into nothing…  
There had been so many hospital visits, so many times he had been so close to death from not eating or vomiting, his parents were adamant that he was not going back to the institution and every time he was refused, he became more determined to die…

Until one day after years of this treatment…  
He just gave up…  
/I can't die and I can't live…/  
So he stopped talking, stopped eating, stopped everything, sleeping brought him no calm…  
He was even on sleeping pills…  
He sat all day blankly staring out his window, they had home help with him now too. Force feeding was as awful as Axel had described it, but that too became part of day to day life…

His mind was always full of thoughts of Axel, also a few passed through of Zexion…  
How they had spent that short time together, the things he had experienced and how most of his life lessons had been learnt there…

His eighteenth birthday came around before he knew it...  
He dozed off near his bedroom window, stronger than he had been before all of this had started because they were forcing him to eat, no longer by forcing food into him but by making him sit down and eat no matter what his protests were…  
When his blue eyes reopened, he noticed a car pulled up outside the house…

He turned away from the window wiping his eyes dozily and there at his bedroom door was Axel.  
He opened his eyes wide and wiped them again and stood mouth agape…  
"I'm dreaming aren't I?"  
The redhead shook his head smiling…  
"I made a promise didn't I?"  
Roxas thought back…  
"You stopped writing and calling… I thought you'd…"  
"Forgotten?"  
Roxas nodded.  
"Silly little Roxas… You haven't changed at all…"  
Roxas looked utterly confused…  
"Well why are you here?"  
"Because I remembered our first phone call when you returned here… I remember you saying how much you hated it…"  
The blonde boy shook his head angrily.  
"I've been here 2 years… It's been awful… I've been so…"  
Axel hugged him tightly…  
"I know… You must be angry… But I had to wait… You're eighteen as of today… Right?"  
Roxas nodded teary eyed.  
"Well… They can't do shit now right?"  
"Right…"  
Roxas was becoming more confused by the moment.  
"Well I have a birthday present for you Roxas…"  
Axel took a card out of his coat.  
"Open it…"  
Roxas tore open the card and reading it reached inside the envelope.  
"Plane tickets…? What?"  
Axel went a light shade of pink.  
"This is probably a pretty risky move on my part, but I'm gonna try anyway…"  
The blonde teen stood there bewildered.  
"Everything you'll need id my car… All I need is a yes…"  
"Yes to what?"  
Axel smiled.  
"A yes to my next question…"  
"Which is?"  
The redhead took a deep breath.  
"I want you to run away with me…"  
Roxas felt elation and joy so much so, that after he had uttered a quiet 'yes' the blackness that suddenly overcame his vision was hardly a surprise…

Axel picked up Roxas and grinning like a madman got into the car beside Zexion.  
"He said yes! Drive man drive!"  
A voice came from the back seat.  
"That's great… But er… Why's he unconscious?"  
Zexion laughed.  
"Ah Demyx you don't know him as well as me and Axel do… He does that a lot… In fact… We don't even know him that well do we Axel?"  
Axel shook his head.  
"That's the insane beauty of it and why we were all drawn to each other in the first place…"  
Demyx grinned.  
"What animal magnetism?"  
The redhead grinned more.  
"Well… You could say that…"

Axel and Roxas stood in the airport together holding hands…  
"You're sure you won't change your mind…?"  
Roxas nodded tears starting to stream down his face.  
"Yeah… I can't… There are just too many memories…"  
Axel nodded kissing him hard on the lips…

He sat alone later that day looking over a pier…  
Staring into the sea...  
/I wonder what Axel's doing…/  
His eyes stared dreamily into the sunset that was happening ahead of him thinking of memories they had shared…  
At that moment someone grabbed him from behind pulling him back into their arms…  
Familiar green eyes looked into his own…  
"You scared the crap out of me…"  
"You went off without telling us, you know we're not here a day and already you're running off! If you're not careful I'll have to put you on a leash…"  
Axel winked, grinning to himself.  
"You're such a pervert…"  
"It's only because I like you! I got scared back there, I really thought you might turn back in the airport…"  
Roxas shook his head.  
"Why would I? That house holds awful memories… I hated them both… Is it natural to hate your parents?"  
Axel shrugged.  
"Is it natural for two gay couples to run off to Spain to start a new life?"  
Roxas shook his head.  
"Nope that's pretty fucked right there… Wait… Couples? We're not a…"  
Axel grinned widely.  
"Would you like to be?"  
Roxas blushed hard.  
"I guess if we're living together… We probably…"  
Axel grabbed Roxas in his arms kissing him softly on the lips sending the boys lips and body into a complete frenzy.  
Slowly he pulled away…  
"That's a yes then?"  
"I never said…"  
"You didn't have to… The blush on your cheeks says it all…"  
Roxas went to shake his head in disagreement…  
But when he felt Axel's arm around his shoulders he knew he was right…  
"I guess I have no choice…"  
"Guess you don't…"  
With that Axel pulled Roxas into another kiss and although they both knew it would take work… But at that moment both were comfortable and confident that as long as they were together nothing could possibly ever be as bad as it had been…

The end.


	12. Chapter 11 ALTERNATE ENDING

"You… You can't leave…"  
Roxas tried to gather his thoughts as he walked in circles…  
"I… I don't want to leave… But…"  
Axel stood up.  
"But nothing, if you don't want to leave don't leave…"  
"It's just… Not that easy…"  
Axel was raising his voice hysterically now.  
"What's not easy about it? You tell her to fuck off, you don't go and we stay together… It's that simple!"  
Roxas now slightly afraid at how Axel was acting raised his voice in an attempt to cease his hysteria.  
"Don't shout at me!"  
The room fell silent Roxas voice echoing in the silence…  
Axel sat back on the bed…  
"So that's it then… After all we've been through you're just going to leave… Fine…"  
Lying back on his bed he turned his face to the wall.  
Roxas moved closer to the bed reaching out to touch his lover but Axel seemed to sense him and wince away…  
"Just don't…"  
Roxas pulled his hand away sitting on his bed…  
The cream coloured walls and blue sheets seeming less cheery by the second…  
His blue eyes began to stream tears.  
"I… I wanted to spend our last night together… I wanted to remember what you felt like I wanted to remember you and see you every fucking time I closed my eyes and if I couldn't have you with me always then at least be happy that I had you… If you can't do that for me then…"  
He didn't finish the sentence…  
The next sound Axel heard from Roxas was a door slamming and steps running down the hall…  
/There's nothing I can do…/  
The redhead remained nose touching the wall, feeling tears and anger welling up in his eyes...  
Roxas' words still ringing in his ears salt in his wounds every single word stabbed worse than the last…  
'I wanted to spend our last night together…'  
/So did I… Only I never wanted it to be our last night… I wanted us to live every night like it was our last… But never actually be the last time I would touch your skin… Kiss your lips…/  
He began to feel renewed anger and sadness…  
/I wish…/  
He imagined Roxas standing there in front of him crying his voice a mere whisper.  
'I wish I'd never met you…'  
The voice sounded almost too real…

Roxas walked around the grounds tears in his eyes, his whole body shaking…  
/I feel so… Trapped… I can't stay here they won't let me… I do not want to go home... I can't go home…/  
His eyes began to stream tears as he sat upon a rock.  
"Oh god…"  
He seemed to wail out to no one but the trees around him as his head sunk into his hands…  
Breaths turning into gasps as his sobs shook his entire tiny form…  
On his knees now he cried up to the heavens…  
"If anyone can hear me, if there's anyone who can help me… I need it now... Please… Just…"  
He sank to the ground, tear filled eyes catching sight of something partially hidden in fallen leaves…

Axel tossed and turned on his bed…  
/No… I will not be his sex toy just for his stupid last night here… Just because he's leaving he thinks it's the end of his life as he knows it…/  
Something didn't feel right in the back of Axel's mind…  
'Go after him…'  
Whispered the tiniest voice…  
/No… I refuse to be used…/  
'He looked pretty upset…'  
/Oh and of course I'm not…/  
'But not quite as upset as he probably is…'  
/I have my own shit to deal with…/  
'Part of this 'shit' you speak of is Roxas…'  
/I said no…/  
'I feel sorry for him… Look out the window…'  
Axel gazed towards the window where heavy rain drops were beginning to fall…  
/I can't you don't understand I…/  
'You're afraid of being hurt…'  
The redhead slid down the wall he was now standing against to the floor…  
/You're right… I don't want to be hurt… Is that so wrong…?/

Roxas grabbed the thing from the leaves and pulling it up found a length of rope…  
/'Zexion's a little tied up right now…'/  
Roxas remembered how Axel had laughed saying this…  
He would miss that laugh…  
Roxas pulled the rope behind him as he walked away from where Zexion had been tied up…  
His eyes glazed over trance like it was raining heavily now, but he didn't care, he continued to walk blindly while still being able to see…  
It was like someone had just taken an eraser and blurred the lines of real and fake…  
When his conscious mind hit in, his only thought was Axel…  
/My dear sweet Axel…/  
He jumped from the branch he had climbed to and jumped like he was jumping into the arms of someone he loved…  
His motion was stopped short with a jerk and a fall backwards…  
/I love you…/

Axel was still against the wall crying screaming out hysterically.  
"Leave me alone! He's made his choice… Fuck you… I've made mine too… Stop talking to me…"  
'You're a frightened little child… Playing a big boys game… Sure you can fuck him… But what about this? Huh Axel? Not ready to step up when the cute little blonde fuck toy is troubled are you?'  
"I'll go… I'll find him… I will…"  
Axel was in pure despair…  
"I'm going… Just…J-Just leave me alone…"  
The redhead got to his feet and fled the room running through the rooms he called.  
"Roxas! Roxas please… Answer me…I'm sorry…"  
He was crying out hysterically again searching everywhere in vain…  
He ran from the place and sprinted calling him…  
"Please Roxas answer me!"  
His voice echoed as he came nearer to the edge of the grounds…  
This was near where he had tied Zexion up…  
"Please Roxas…"  
Crying out he backed against something and in fright fell against it…  
Looking up, he saw the blonde hair…  
The same clothes…  
Bright blue eyes…  
There was Roxas…  
Startlingly beautiful even as he stared in shock up at him, his body limp, his neck tied…  
Hanging from the tree he had once tied Zexion to…  
Axel's eyes took in the scene…  
He reached out to touch Roxas…  
"R-Roxas… No… It can't be…"  
His hand was ice cold…  
Axel searched the ground and finding a piece of glass cut the rope that bound Roxas and took him down, he lay his head in his lap…  
His mind went blank from shock but tears flowed freely down his cheeks…  
"Roxas… I wanted to come out after you… But he didn't want me to… He blocked my way… He cried… You know how hard I find it to leave people in need…"  
Axel leaned forward kissing Roxas cold forehead, his fingers closed Roxas eyelids over his startling blue eyes…  
His eyes looked alive despite the fact that he clearly wasn't…  
"Don't worry Roxas… You're safe now… I'm going to kill that guy for holding me up…"

Neither boy's were found at breakfast the nest morning…  
Or at lunch…  
When Roxas parents arrived they demanded that he be found at once…  
But before the search could begin an alarmed looking patient came running into the hallway with urgent news that had to been seen to straight away…

Zexion stood in their room head down…  
A note in one hand which shook as he read every pain staking word...  
He left the note under Roxas pillow…  
The sounds of people running by him and the voices mentioning the names of his dead friends seemed to fade into the background…  
He was going into peoples empty rooms and borrowing extension leads from his neighbours…  
Once he was sure he had enough he returned to their room…  
Plug was plugged into plug…  
His hand shook as he scrawled onto a piece of paper…  
'We were friends… But don't disrespect our memories by saying we were dumb enough to make a pact…'  
Sitting fully clothed in the bath he dunked his head under the water keeping his hands dry…  
His hair now stuck to his face in strands, his long sleeved t shirt sticking to his chest, his lower lip quivering a drop of water hanging from it, he held up the radio over the water and with a breath inwards dropped it…  
'I'm doing this because I feel life is empty without them… If you want to call that a pact then do so… It's not like I'll be there to stop you…'

Another alarmed student ran up to the doctor…  
"What is it?"  
The girl sobbed.  
"It's Z-Zexion… H-He's…"

The grisly scene played out in front of the girls eyes…  
Roxas lay there head in Axel's lap, rope cut but still hanging around his neck like a twisted kind of leash…  
Axel with a slash across his throat with the glass he'd used to slash the rope, clearly self inflicted...  
Now Zexion in the bath, electrocution…

Three graves now stand where they once would have done, not too far from the fountain where they'd sat so many times…  
Surrounded by roses…  
There they find their eternal peace…


End file.
